Search For The Father
by 2Tame a River
Summary: Ever since I can remember, I've been a weakling. Even as a Nightsister, my identity in the world was something I constantly strove to discover, and the only justification anyone could give me as to why I was so different, why I was such a disappointment to my clan... was to blame my father. A father I had never met. A father in whom my mother never spoke anything about...
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers!  
This is a Nightsister story set pre-Clone Wars time, that I'm co-writing with the good friend of mine, Sapphire Frost! Just thought I'd share it as we went along and see what you Star Wars fans think! We always love feed back so be sure to review! :)

-StokinDembers

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**Search for the Father  
**

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_ Chapter One_

_ ..._

_Ever since I can remember, I've been a weakling. _

_My mother knew it from the moment of my birth, though she was temperate enough not to hate me for it. There were others who were not so passive. She alone had been my safe place; the wings that had sheltered me. I will forever love her for her courage to own up to the disappointment that I truly was, and to continue in her raising of me despite the constant ridicule she received. _

_Mother Talzin, the faithful head of our Nightsister clan for the past decade, could not stand weakness amidst her sister cult. As much of a spiritual being as she was a physical one, Talzin could not stomach the rotten stench of me that seemed to permeate through our sisterhood ranks. Indeed, weakness was not a fault I could have much been blamed for when I was a child, but as I grew, it became a defect that needed weeding out. However, the problem was not so easy to extinguish. It was not a flaw that could be trained out of me, swept away with the slice of an enchanted blade, or drawn out by witch magiks. _

_The sad fact was, I was not strong in the spirits. The Nightsisters prided themselves on their spiritual coexistence with the intangible realm and their enlightenment through our servitude and rituals to the Twin Gods of our planet. Such strength with our spiritual world was revered above all else, and those who's genetic make up enabled them to be naturals at such worship, were reproduced. Those who were weak and unworthy diminished. _

_By carefully selected good breeding between the most promising Nightsisters and only those of the best Nightbrothers, our clan survived, becoming more and more powerful with each new born child. _

_Until me. _

_I was a happenstance Mother Talzin could not understand nor gain wisdom of even in her deepest of meditations. I was a completely unexplainable flaw amidst the perfect ranks of our cult, and when time came for myself to be trained in sorceress ways, Mother Talzin took it upon herself to teach me personally. She would see to it that I would not remain a blemish inside the sisterhood, and that I would grow to become every bit as in touch with the spirit world as my clan sisters. _

_But completing such a task proved to be even more insatiable than my great Mother had expected. As I grew older, and my body was worked to the brink of breaking, even then my desire for knowledge of the spirit realm and the witchcraft ways was practically non-existant. _

_It was as if I was born a stranger amidst my own home. I had absolutely no appetite for the chants, the meditations, the sorcery, or the potions. And so, though I worked five times as hard as anyone else in the clan, my dedicated efforts, along with Mother Talzin's, proved utterly fruitless. _

_I was a soul without passion for the witch ways, and though for the life of me I wished to have it for the sake of my clan, I could not conjure up desires within my heart which were truly not my own. This led to many questions. Why was I this way? Why had I been born without connection to the spirits and even less interest in them? _

_My identity in the world was something I constantly strove to discover and the only justification anyone could give me as to why I was so different, why I was such a disappointment... was to blame my father. _

_A father I had never met. A father in whom my mother never spoke anything about. _

_Ever since Mother Talzin had made the cult decision to separate the males from our domain, little of the Nightbrothers were ever seen, much less spoken about, save for when time came for the mating selections. Even then, the single Nightsister who was ready to make a match would head to the other side of our home world alone, and it was there where the Nightbrothers resided that a male from the warrior ranks would be chosen. _

_Males were a mysterious species all of their own in my mind. I hardly knew what they looked like, much less how to imagine them. All thoughts towards the opposite sex were prohibited within our temple walls. Pursuit of the Twin Gods and spiritual gain were my clan's only desire, and having children was only a part of life that was considered 'necessary' to ensure our culture's survival._

_This being said, my mother never disclosed anything about my father to me, not even so much as his name. But I did overhear _some_ things. Negative things. The quiet musings that were muttered on the subject consisted of nothing but the speculations that it was no doubt a weak link in __**'his' **__genes that had caused my despicable condition. That I was a result of__** 'his'**__ genetic defect. _

_My mother neither confirmed or denied these accusations, but though she kept her opinions hidden, I more often than not would silently defend him. Even if he was the cause for my disgrace in the clan, that meant we at least had something in common. Neither of us were perfect, and to me, that made him a great source of comfort. _

_Well, as the years past, with much physical training and my skills being incessantly challenged in combat, I soon became quite the adept warrior and hunter. Though getting me to interact in meditations or incantations was pointless, for I added absolutely nothing to the equation, I at least proved myself to be a formidable fighter, and that was a relief, to myself as well as my mother. _

_When I was sixteen, I was sent out with the other two girls my age on a mission to earn the rank of 'warrior' amidst our clan. I succeeded in my quest, a bit ahead of the others, and that glorious achievement was the first time I actually felt I was worth something. _

_In the years following I worked all the harder to improve myself in every physical way I could. My flexibility and agility were arts I sculpted as often as I was able without bringing permanent damage to my body. Amidst this time, I forged only one friendship with a fellow Nightsister, outside of my mother, and even that friendship would sometimes be vastly strained considering my bitter attitude often left much to be desired. _

_None the less, I survived in a mediocre existence, all the while wondering as to if I would ever meet my father, and whether or not the life of a Nighsister was truly meant for me..._

_Little had I known, that the day of my twentieth birthday would change my life forever._

_()()() _

"Souza."

At the sound of my birth mother speaking my name, I glanced up from the book of incantations I had been reading within the temple's library to see her standing in the entry way, looking at me with a curious shine in her eyes. Intrigued, I set my book down, not even caring to mark my page and stood up from my chair, giving her all of my attention.

"What is it?" I inquired. I could not quite puzzle out the look upon her face, and it worried me.

"The _Mother_ wishes to speak with you," she replied softly. Her tone did not betray any hint of emotion, which was unusual. One thing about my birth mother, Senwah, was that she was always honest in her expressions and the words she spoke. For her to speak without any indication of it being good or bad news was troublesome to me.

"Of course," I replied readily, striding forward quickly to follow her out from the ancient library.

Hot steam arose from the enchanted waters that winded their way below our temple, creating a rather heavy, humid atmosphere; one that was always warm and never too cold to wear my red and black, skin revealing sister garbs. The planet's temperature over all was warm, and wearing multiple layers of clothes was never necessary, unless you were intentionally trying to have a heat stroke.

Together, my mother and I walked through the holy temple to the main gathering room, centered within the core of our fortress. It was large and spacious, with an opening high in the rock ceiling that gave direct view to the redish-orange skies above, and green mists hovered about the air, adding to its mystic and haunting aura. A thick, round stone table was in the center of the place, and Mother Talizin stood beside it.

It was upon our entrance that she faced us and my mother bowed to swiftly leave us in privacy.

"Come, my young sister," Talzin beckoned, her voice booming about me. I hastily climbed up the stone steps towards her before bowing my own head in reverence.

"How may I serve you Mother?" I inquired humbly.

"It has been a long and troubling road for you, but you have finally come of age," Mother Talzin spoke thoughtfully. I stayed quiet, my curiosity peaked. Mother Talzin paused a moment then fixed her ghostly green eyes upon me.

"I have decided that it is time for you to choose a mate."


	2. Chapter 2

Here we have chapter two people! Mother Talzin, Brother Viscus and any other canon characters mentioned are obviously NOT mine, but all others are Oc's!

:D Enjoy!

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**Search for the Father  
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Chapter Two**  
**

...

_Umm... what? _

I blinked in stupefied wonder for what felt like hours before Mother Talzin set a hand on my shoulder and the world came crashing back down upon me.

"You will travel to the far side of Dathomir, to the Nightbrother village of Soondeen and select a maleling warrior out of Brother Viscus's tribe. One who is strong physically of course, but who also exhibits a prowess in spiritual intellect," the Mother continued calmly.

_Me choose a mate? ME!? Why? How? I... what? _

"I know what you are feeling child," Talzin proceeded, "But allow me to explain to you my reasons on the matter."

I nodded quickly, more than eager to understand why the Mother would think me fit, after all my years of spiritual incompetence, to produce an offspring, when weakness was something to be snuffed out, not encouraged amidst our clan!

"It has come to my understanding that certain recessive genes don't always remain constant throughout a lineage... but infrequently are known to skip a generation... " Mother Talzin stated, her tone drawn out and steady. I listened with interest, brows narrowed slightly in perplexity.

"And... you believe this is what has happened with me?" I inquired.

"It is a great possibility," Mother Talzin responded, "And if my speculation indeed proves correct, then it will be _your_ offspring, that shall carry all of the spiritual potential that you yourself have lacked, and more."

This was a lot of news to take in and I lowered my eyes away from the Mother in order to try and sort through my thoughts. Go into the very midst of the males? Alone!? Why... I didn't even know how to interact with them! I had been told they were more brutish than we, and had once studied on the fact that, a long time ago in Nightsister history, males had been used as house hold servants in our culture. But beyond that I was clueless. I had no idea what to expect, and I found myself flustered and scared.

I wasn't ready for a mate! I... well... how did one really know when they were ready anyway? How had my birth mother known? How had she ultimately chosen the mate for her? I had never talked to her on this subject. Perhaps now, in light of the circumstances, she would feel open in discussing these things with me.

"I understand," I said at last, knowing that Mother Talzin was waiting for a reply from me. "I shall leave before the night falls."

"Very good. Once the male is selected, you are permitted to bring him back with you here, but he will stay only until a child is conceived," Mother Talzin ordered, lifting a strict finger towards me, as if this was a point of argument she'd had with some of the other sisters before me.

"Yes Mother," I answered quickly. Talzin smiled lightly and gestured that I was free to take my leave. I did so hastily, my mind and heart under an entirely new strange spell. None of this felt real.

()()()

As I walked the halls of our temple, passing the other Nightsisters on my way to my birth mother's private meditation quarters, I contemplated this turn of events and tried to process everything at once. This meant so much. Not only would I be leaving to find a mate, but I would get to travel through Dathomir's vast expanse of wilderness all on my own... I would have to face at least two nights alone during my travels, combatting whatever dangers or troubles that arose all by myself. And once I did get into the Nightbrother village how was I to sort through however many young males awaited me there? It was all so daunting, and yet, I felt a strange amount of excitement kindling within me. The more I thought about the interesting challenge that it would provide for me, the more I convinced myself I was more than ready for it.

When I reached my birth mother's quarters, I stepped inside quietly and sat cross legged in front of her. She was deep in a trance, her eyes closed, her arms uplifted and chin high to the sky. A scented bowl of orange mist wafted in the air between us and I watched and waited. Sometimes it took my birth mother mere minutes to come out from her trance, other times- hours.

While I sat, patiently waiting, my mind wandered once again to the many questions I had. What would these males look like? Would they be frightening or friendly? I was mostly expecting the former... Closing my eyes, I recalled the first time I had been told anything about my father.

"Indeed he was strong, but too wild. A male must be tame and have a good presence of mind to be of any use. Senwah should have known this. But she chose as she chose. And now you, poor child, reap the consequences."

This had been Mother Talzin's exact words regarding the issue during the one and only time I had dared ask.

The sound of a deep breath caused my eyes to flash open, and I watched as my birth mother emerged from her trance with a sigh. She lowered her arms and slowly opened her eyes to perceive me sitting before her.

"Souza," she greeted me with a warm smile and I smiled lightly back.

"I have seen the future my daughter," she said, reaching forward and taking my hands affectionately in her own. I pursed my lips and stayed quiet, knowing enough to be respectful and wait until she was finished speaking before I laid my own problems at her feet.

"The future concerning _you_," my mother said, causing my eyes to widen. Not ever had my birthmother received visions about me... About the clan, about missions, about circumstances far off in the galaxy... yes, but never solely just about me! I struggled between thinking it to be an honor, or a foreboding omen. I braced, suddenly tense at what was going to be spoken.

But my mother was not sorrowful or hesitant. She was beaming, and this was definitely a good sign.

"You will find great happiness and love!" She expressed gaily, squeezing my hands. I blinked, then smiled brighter, all tension gone and feeling free to partake in her own excitement.

"This is a wonderful encouragement to me!" I expressed with relief.

"Yes, but happiness and love are not all you shall find. I have seen that you will find your inner self. You will find your identity, and your heart will finally be at home," my mother pressed on, her joyous smile infectious.

Even though I was unable to help smiling back, I did my best to understand what all her words meant. Was I to find a mate, fall in love and be happy here with the Nightsister's the rest of my life? Was I truly going to become content with this life? I suppose in a way, that was what I had been wanting all my life, but at the same time, I felt a hesitancy. Did I really _want_ to be content with this life?

Swallowing, I pulled myself from my thoughts.

"Mother Talzin has deemed me ready to choose a mate," I spoke. "I am to leave before nightfall."

My mother's smile lessened slightly into one that was more sympathetic than truly joyful.

"And you are concerned?" she asked. I was about to deny it, but thought better of it. My birthmother was strong with the spirits, and could sense a liar a mile away.

"Slightly," I admitted with a grimace.

"It is perfectly natural," my mother replied sweetly, squeezing my hands and then releasing them in order to rise and grab the bowl of enchanted contents.

"Will you tell me about you and my father? How did you choose him?" I asked eagerly, not wanting to risk my mother closing up into silence once more.

She brought the bowl over to a side shelf of rock and with a weary sigh, set it down with a gentle click against the stone.

"Your curiosity is misplaced. The key to your future does not lie in the past. Even if I did tell you all about how I met and chose your father, it would only serve to place pre-conceived ideas of how your own experience will be and bring great confusion to you when the time comes," she stated resolutely.

Clenching my jaw in frustration, I stood up and balled my hands into fists. After all these years, she still refused to tell me what I really wanted- no- what I really _needed _to know.

"Mother... why? Why can't I know about my father?" I asked angrily.

"Because it is not important," my mother returned sharply, turning to face me with a strict composure.

"But it _IS_ important! It's important to me!" I cried out.

"No more of this. No more! We are forbidden to speak of the Nightbrother's within the temple as it is," my mother ordered harshly. I went to continue my argument, but she cut me off.

"What questions you have about your father you will simply have to go and find out for yourself. He was raised amidst Brother Viscus's tribe and it is only there that you will discover the truths you seek," she practically spat.

I blinked, shocked at my mother's sudden show of bitterness. I had not seen this side of her before and it bothered me deeply. Nodding, I left without another word and proceeded to go and fetch my weapons. If I was to leave before nightfall, it was best I went to gather my essentials now.

My adventure was about to begin, and I was determined to be ready for it.

...


	3. Chapter 3

Greetings readers!  
Here I have another chapter for you! Thus far, I've been the sole writer for these last three chapters, but after this, my friend Sapphires Frost will be incorporating her chapters along with mine! To be clear for those interested, I'm going to start putting the name of the author at the top of the chapters from now on so you guys know who is writing what like this:

This chapter written by: StokinDembers

Anyway, enjoy!

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Three

...

My belongings were few but it took some time to pack none the less. Gathering my travel bedding and extra clothing, I laid them neatly inside a bag before assembling each of my weapons. I was an expert with a light bow, as well as several enchanted throwing knives and a deadly short blade. Each of these I would bring, just in case I were to come across any trouble during my journey, or even perhaps once I'd arrived at my destination...

Would those in the Nightbrother village really speak more freely concerning matters about my father than my own mother had? Would I have to force the answers I sought out of them? Shaking my head I sheathed my knife and slapped it into my bag.

Traveling across Dathomir would be no small task. It would take two days to reach Soondoon, even when riding aboard a speeder bike which I would be permitted to use. But aside from the long lonely days ahead of me, it was the unfamiliar terrain that I didn't look forward to.

During my training years of exploring thus far, I'd never left the borders of our local jungle training grounds. Anything beyond the dense forest would be totally new to me. I had been made to memorize various maps of our great lands, and because of such vigorous studies, I was confident that I would know the way, but that did not mean I would be wholly prepared for what kinds of landscape I would encounter.

Strapping my bow to my back, I picked up my pack and strode out of my room and out through the vast temple halls.

Briefly, I glanced around to see if I could spot my one and only friend, but I knew it was unlikely. We ran in different circles these days, since our last spat out.

In my heart I would admit that I still regretted the fight in which I had primarily started, but there was no fixing things now.

I was leaving. Maybe by the time I returned with my... _mate_... my friend would have forgotten about our argument.

Once outside, I moved to the speeder bay where the few vehicles the clan possessed were parked under safe cover and straddled a two seated speeder. Casting my bag into the empty seat, I flipped on the engine and took a deep breath. This was it... Closing my eyes, I sent out a silent prayer to the Twin Gods for my safety, (not that they had ever bothered to pay me a speck of attention before) and then, I gassed the throttle.

Dathomir's evening light was slowly sinking down over the horizon line and I knew I had quite a lot of ground to cover before I camped for the night. I zoomed out of the garage and soon was immersed by the jungle foliage.

Maneuvering past the thickly clustered, tall drooping trees and various poisonous shrubs of the Nightsister territory, I wondered if I was going to be so unfortunate as to run into any kind of vicious native carnivore, such as the bad tempered and _massive_ rancor...

An encounter with a creature like that was bound to ruin my day...

As the sky darkened around me, the trees became less and less clustered and a valley began to open up. I drove in the blackness with the guidance of my speeder's front headlights, until I was too tired to go on. I did not like the idea of stopping, for I felt safest moving fast through the wild lands aboard my vehicle. But ultimately, my tiredness won out, and I was forced to make camp. I parked the speeder in a group of close growing trees and bedded down for the night, all the while listening to the millions of croaking and chirping insects that filled the silence.

Before I knew it I was waking to a light red sky and turned over to find my speeder bike was being investigated by two large birds of prey. They scared easily once I got up and soon I was back aboard my transportation and speeding off through the terrain once again.

The world looked different in the light and I found myself staring about me at the vast views with interest. It was... different, but beautiful. The valleys were more open and I could see quite a ways into the distance. I rather liked getting to see all around me for once. In the forest, one was prevented from ever seeing too far. Out here, I felt almost free. Free from my clan, free from their expectations, free from their limitations.

Dathomir's giant blood red moons swirled above in the outer atmosphere and I smiled at their beauty as my bike sped across the grassy expanse. That day I passed many lively water creeks and spotted numerous amounts of interesting animals in which I'd never seen before. Some of them worried me, but they never had the chance to get close enough to become a real concern.

All the while I was accompanied only by the constant sound of my speeder engine. Being alone in the wilderness was not as lonely as I had anticipated. I was too busy being alert and thinking about what lay ahead of me, than not having anyone to talk to.

For the second night, I had just crossed over into a very desolate, desert like country and resigned to making camp out in the scantily covered landscape. I felt a bit too open and vulnerable out there, but the good thing about having little cover was that no dangerous creatures could hide from my sight should they approach in the darkness. Out there, it was far more quiet than it had been in the valley. Not even insects chirped into the eery silence. Only the wind whistled its soft tunes into my ear as I fell into a weary sleep.

()()()

Upon awaking on the last morning of my journey, my stomach flipped at the mind numbing realization that this was the day that would change my life. The day I would see my very first male, the day I would choose my mate, and...the day I would quite possibly meet my father...

After eating my packed herbs and native fruits swiftly, I was back upon my speeder and racing across the desert until I crested a significantly large hill. Beyond it, lie large, exotic trees and shrubs once more. They were not as thickly situated as those in the jungle forests of my home on the other side of the planet, but they were pleasant and colorful to look at.

Two hours into my riding routine, my eyes finally caught the first sign of civilization.

A strong stone, zabrak built tower loomed upon the side of a mountain, overlooking the valley and standing as a pillar of greeting towards those who approached. Unlike any kind of architecture I had ever seen before, it caused both a cultivation of caution and excitement to simmer within me. I clutched my speeder handles all the tighter, knowing that by now, someone in that tower had seen me, even if I could not see them. The tower was positioned smartly in the rock scape as a scout post, no doubt purposefully.

It would be a good position to defend the way the tower was stationed, and no doubt had been built so in order to withstand the early pirate raids that had once been so common in Dathomir's not too distant history.

I forged on past the tower, knowing where I was going only because I had studied a map of villages, and had been required to memorize the various locations.

I had that map imprinted into my brain now, and took a second to consult it before motoring on and adjusting my course ever so slightly for that one Nightbrother tribe in particular that I was to visit.

Soondoon.

As I neared the location, my heart beat quicker within my chest.

Word had no doubt been signaled of my coming approach because up ahead, where the ancient village awaited me, plenty of activity was about it. In the fast coming distance, I could see their forms walking and jogging swiftly from their modest, box shaped hut homes and through their freshly plowed fields.

These beings were _large_ with thicker, broader chests and narrow wastes. The closer I got, the more details I saw, and the more excited I became. Their shoulders were big and round, their arms were well muscled and their heads were crowned with sharp intimidating horns.

Zabraks of all heights, skin colors and tattoos came into their flat dirt streets as I shifted down my speeder's engine and passed between their village entrance pillars to slow to a stop in the town square.

And it was a decent little town, to be sure. Far different than anything I was accustomed to, but it was still wonderful in its own unique way.

For one thing, it was wide out in the open with the skies bearing down upon them and light shone everywhere. Each building was constructed roughly by hand, the homes, the markets, the shops, everything.

It was so unlike the dark, shadow haunted caves of the Nightsister fortresses, and it was a refreshing sight to me.

Pulling my speeder to a final halt, I gathered my resolve and dismounted from my bike to stare in awe of my new surroundings. Males were everywhere, and they were... quite amazing to behold.

But while there was a substantial amount of interest in myself towards them, it was balanced with a healthy amount of caution.

All my life I had been taught that the males were not nearly as intelligent as us sisters, and that they tended to prefer solving their problems with their fists rather than their heads.

However, while this knowledge was a bit disconcerting, I had also been consoled by Mother Talzin that Brother Viscus and his tribe were very well tamed individuals and that I needed not to fear them in any way.

For thousands of decades, the Nightbrothers had been subject to the Nightsister's whims, and that was a fact that would never change.

For this reason alone, I did not feel the need to draw my weapons, even as the zabraks gathered curiously around me.

I had been wearing my black and red travel hood, which concealed my mouth and head from the wilderness conditions, but now that I was amidst civilized society, I pulled the head cover away, freeing my extremely long, thick dark dread locks.

I waited, my eyes scanning the crowd, unsure of exactly who to approach. This was all so new to me. I could hardly take it in.

Then, to my relief, a zabrak with a tall crown of horns, who's skin was a pale orange and streaked with black tats, emerged from what looked like the central building and strode up to me, followed by a fellow brother behind him.

"Welcome, sister," the orange zabrak spoke, being a full two heads taller than myself. "I am Brother Viscus," he introduced, bowing from the waist to me.

"In what way can we be of service to you?" the head Nightbrother inquired humbly.

...

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Okay guys! Hope you enjoyed the read and please leave some reviews for me! They are always so encourating!

Up next, my good friend Sapphires Frost is going to jump on in with her character! The next chapter will be all her writing! Yippee! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Well readers, some good news and bad news.

The bad news is my friend has had to back out of personally writing in this fanfiction fic due to time restraints and a very busy schedule.

However, the good news is, we still have all of the written content of the story that we've orchestrated together, and while she cannot be spared to do the fine tuning of our previous rough drafts, I will be doing it for her in each of her character's point of view chapters in order so that you will not be robbed!

So, if that makes any sense to you, here is the introduction to her character of this story, and I hope you all love him!

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Four

...

_Life wasn't easy within Brother Viscus' great tribe of Soondoon._

_Since early childhood, my mere existence was a constant battle for survival. I was raised amidst warriors who were bred and conditioned not to fail, but to be made great beyond the simple skill of surviving. My peers and I had to be torched by the hotest fires of tribulation and come out from the flames unscorched, more resilient, and more battle hardened than ever._

_But above the brawn and bravado instilled within us from the youngest of ages, the most critical asset to learn- was that of servitude. Every Nightbrother, despite the pride he took in his strength and physical abilities, had to understand that his life was not his own... but that he was meant to serve._

_And not just to serve one another- which my father so dutifully taught me- but to serve the **Nightsisters**._

_Just their name sent shivers down many a Nightbrother's spine. The Nightsisters were cold, heartless witches who lived in mysterious secrecy on the far side of the planet, practicing their magiks and sorceries. Rare were the times when a Nightsister would emerge from her temple and into our territories where she came seeking a potential mate or other provisions that our village could provide._

_And we brothers were fine with this. The less we saw of them, the better._

_Relations between our Nightbrother clans and the Nightsister cults had gone on upon our planet of Dathomir for many centuries, and thus, traditions set in permanent stone had been etched into each of our very beings. But these traditions had been built upon a decidedly prejudice nature... and not to our brothers' advantage._

We_ were servants. _We_ were lesser beings. We were the _**brutes**_._

_And yet, to me, it was the Nightsisters who seemed the true heartless beasts._

_My opinion of them had been steadily formed from the beginning of my earliest childhood memories. Being born a male into a Nightsister clan was perhaps a fault I could not be blamed for- but it was one I suffered for none the less. Since the Twin Gods had decided for me not to be a girl, and therefore -not a potentially powerful witch- I had been speedily discarded by my mother and tossed off to my father, who then spent the next set of many tireless years soothing the pain of abandonment that my mother had coldly scarred me with._

_And it was not **just** my mother who displayed such blatant disregard. The witches' attitudes in general towards my people were reserved and indifferent at best; domineering, cruel, and violent at worst._

_And we took it. Never once did we rebel, strike back, or retaliate. The Nightbrothers submitted and tolerated whatever treatment the Nightsisters thought fitting for us. Why? I still do not fully understand. _

_However, despite these unfortunate relations, life under prejudice customs was not always infuriating. In fact, for the most part, I enjoyed it. Within the safety of the clan I had grown strong, enduring a long series of incredibly difficult challenges, both falling and rising to the occasion._

_As previously mentioned, life was not easy. I often suffered for my failures, but my father, Neprad, had been a surprisingly patient man, even gentle when the time allowed. It was because of him alone that I was taught the finer points of not only maintaining a strong physic, but a strong character. Through numerous lessons, I learned to value such things as intelligence, ingenuity and integrity._

_Years of maturing with a well rounded education and the added privilege of a father who was second man only to the tribal leader Brother Viscus, I will not deny that I was a seen as one of the most promising of our breed amidst the tribe- next to Viscus's own son of course._

_Sivas and myself had never been the closest of friends- for the contention between us regarding the compeitive spirits we both possessed was too great. Unfortunately, everything between us was compared, and such comparisons only proved to put us at odds with one another. At one point in our childhood, I believe we could have had the potential to be friends- but Sivas had too much pride, and therefore kept me at arms length._

_That was fine with me. I tended to prefer the ever comforting company of my father anyway. Besides, I had a few obnoxiously persistent peers in the village who took care to keep me as included as possible in mischievous schemes. Needless to say, I often longed for solitude._

_I enjoyed reading very much- which was an odd habit in the minds of most zabraks- but I invested in it none the less. Though history texts often fascinated me, I also spent a good deal of time reading up on the more spiritual aspects of life._

_My father was strong with the spirits, which was indeed why my mother had selected him, but as result, so was I. And these abilities of mine were not over looked. Neprad coached me in those things as well, though it was done explicitly in private. After all, spiritual matters were left to the Nightsisters, and practicing their ways was not looked upon with appreciation amidst our brothers._

_For me, connecting with the spiritual energies of our universe came as natural as breathing. I often meditated in my room for hours, expanding my senses and trying to extend farther than I'd accomplished before._

_And all the while, I knew deep down with great apprehension and bitterness that I was being prepared. Prepared for that nerve wracking and possibly life threatening event. I was being prepared for the **Selections**._

_Prepared so that I might be chosen..._

_Chosen by a Nightsister..._

()()()

It seemed a day as any other.

I was up early as usual so that my father and I could practice our fighting in the courtyard of our home and afterwards, my father left to attend to the tribal managing needs of Brother Viscus.

Shortly following, I too left our home to get to my own work. As the son of a highly-influential man in the clan, I had known from a young age that great things were expected of me.

Today, like all days, there were many jobs to be done which required my attention.

The first of which was to inspect the fields that fed the clan. It was custom for me to do this before the breaking of daylight, for I always preferred to escape the worst of the heat. There was nothing I loathed more than sweating under the hot sun star in a field where fire-bugs and other irksome insects liked to buzz incessantly.

Farming was not a chore I felt particularly exemplary in, but I did it out of necessity for my father. As hard as I tried, not all of my responsibilities did I delight in looking forward to.

After my walk about the budding fields, noting the promise each of the small starting sprouts had, I made sure to document sections of the plot that were too dry, and retuned the sections of the water feeder system accordingly. It was not a long task and soon I was able to start on my return walk for the village. The sun star had now risen and the beauty of its brightness had crested over the valley.

It was as I was making my way back from the crops, nearly to the edge of town, that I caught the sudden sight of a rooster-tail of dust in the distance. Squinting, I peered against the bright star reflecting off the course, dry ground to better perceive what it was I had glimpsed.

Then, it was clear.

While it was not often we received outlander visits, it had happened enough that I recognized the style of the speeder and the rider in red perched in one of the two seats almost immediately. And with the recognition- came the sudden feeling of ice water running through my veins, pooling mainly into my stomach.

It was undoubtably a Nightsister.

Grimly, I pursed my lips and recalled the one occasion in my past where I had been the temporary interest of a Nightsister who had come looking for a mate. Luckily for me, I had been deemed too young to enter into the Selection, though I had only been 19 at the time. I was now 21, with my horns fully grown in and more muscle and skill developed than even I could have possibly anticipated.

There would be no reason to be excused from the Selection this time...

For as long as I'd been trying to accustom myself to the upcoming reality of my situation, the idea of a Nightsister taking me as a mate still seemed intangible, and caused a swelling of uncertain emotions within me. I could safely say that I was greatly intimidated and disgusted by the Nightsisters, but what bothered me more was that I had no choice but to commit to them.

Treachery was unthinkable. Of all the decades in our long history of civilization on this planet- less than a handful of zabraks had ever attempted escape from this fate- and all had fallen into unspeakable shame.

I watched as the speeder and its red robed passenger passed swiftly by, passing through the village entrance pillars. She swooped into the main square where she suddenly braked her speeder and came to an abrupt halt, spraying dirt and dust in her wake.

Despite the fact that I knew I was quite possibly walking to my doom... I continued walking on towards the village entrance. For all my years of preparation and training, I had to believe that things would somehow work out for the best. My father expected nothing but excellence from me after all, and it was my deepest wish to not disappoint him.

And besides this, I was a victim of curiosity.

From what I could see, the Nightsister had dismounted her speeder in one lithe movement. In doing so, she had also removed her robes travel hood, disclosing her face to the brothers who now gathered.

She was beautiful.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello once again faithful readers!

Here we go, back to Souza's POV! Enjoy and please review to let me know your thoughts!

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Five

...

Brother Viscus stood before me, his hands clasped behind his back and a curious, attentive expression upon his face. He was waiting for me to answer him, and my mind momentarily drew a blank. I was so caught up in the new surroundings and all the zabraks- even the sound of Brother Viscus' deep, totally _male_ voice, that I had to kick my brain back into gear.

_Why was I here again? Well, I did have some questions regarding my father, but there was something else more pressing than that... if only I could remem- Oh yes! That was right! To find a mate! _

_AHHHHHHHHH! _

Internally screaming, I swallowed in the painfully awkward moment of silence before I finally managed to get my mouth to speak.

"I have come for the Selection," I answered at last, hoping my voice had projected more confidently than I felt.

"Of course," Brother Viscus replied quickly, nodding and glancing back to the zabrak brother just behind him. The zabrak smiled and moved off into the nearest office building to do Brother Viscus' silent bidding.

I took an opportunity to analyze the zabraks surrounding me in all their male glory and couldn't help but feel tiny and brittle in their midst. For someone who had worked her whole life to become strong, being now confronted with specimines who were born for superior strength made me feel extremely insignificant.

And yet... these males submitted themselves to the Nightsisters? The concept seemed in that moment totally ludicrous. The sheer mass of each them suggested they were equipped with more than enough power to take care of themselves!

However, there was something to say for sharp mindedness and having the resources to dominate those around them, and clearly, the Nightbrothers lacked certain brain capacity or they would not be so simple to control and manipulate.

Then, quite suddenly, a trumpet was sounded, the blast loud and clear, piercing the air.  
I almost jumped in surprise of it, but refrained just barely in time.

In a flash, zabraks from every direction were brought to attention, and before I knew what was happening, young males were shouldering their way through the older members of the crowd, some even spilling out of door ways and jogging down the streets to form up in the town square in perfectly lined rows before me.

They stood with their feet shoulder width apart and their arms poised by their sides. Their chins they kept high and they each stared straight ahead.

My mouth went dry as I cast my gaze over the large group of about fifteen males.

"They await your terms for the Selection," Brother Viscus spoke gently by my side.

_My terms? Jeeze... Now I really wish I'd come more prepared... What would Mother Talzin do?_

I'd come to ask myself this same question in many circumstances before, and in the past it had helped me, but this time, I was still left utterly hapless.

Still, determined not to look like the weakling I'd been labeled by my clan my whole life, I put on a mask of firm resolve and strode forward with a hard, confident air.

I was the leader here and they were to answer to _my_ orders. It was only right that I needed to actually play the part that they expected of me. With a deep breath, I lifted my own chin high and paced to the front of the ranks, analyzing the males with carefully reserved curiosity.

The males before me ranged in all sorts of skin colors, from bright vibrant reds, light tans, yellows, subtle greens and muted oranges.

Several did I find instantly striking upon first sight. I was getting my first taste of what it felt to be naturally attracted to the physical appearance of another and I would admit, it bothered me.

I was most sincerely horrified with myself for how my stomach lurched when my gaze crossed over a particularly handsome brother's face and our eyes locked briefly. His skin was pale with the slightest hint of green, and his tattoos were almost flattering with how they enhanced the best qualities of his facial features. His eyes though... his eyes were what brought on a strange, unwelcome, fluttery feeling within my stomach.

Steadying my nerves and willing myself not to be surprised with any more of my body's rogue reactions towards these finely built males, I began to sort out in my head how I wanted this selection to be run. Since I'd never seen them done before, I had little to go off of, but these males must have been highly familiar with the ritual, since this was what they were to always expect from the visiting Nightsisters.

I noticed that the way in which the males were aligned must have had to do with their ranks within the tribe, though I couldn't possibly puzzle the lines system myself. I only had to assume that the zabraks towards the front were of more importance. Indeed, the male I'd found particularly handsome was among those in the first row.

Clearing my throat, I formed my words for a speech.

"This Selection is to determine the strongest and most able minded competitor. Naturally, the one who proves himself constant in these qualities through a series of challenges will be the winner," I announced in a loud, clear tone.

"But understand, this competition will not just put your physical skills to the test, but your mental and spiritual capacities as well," I informed.

"The Selection will begin with the usual set of skill challenges, but when it comes down to the final four competitors, the games will alter," I continued, watching the faces of the males as I spoke. None seemed to betray any thoughts or emotions. Did they even have them?

"Good luck, and let the Selection begin," I concluded, taking a step back in closing to look once more over the entire group.

I was determined to not show favoritism towards any one of them until I saw the results of how well they prevailed in combat. No way was I silly enough to get attached and only set myself up for disappointment.

I looked over to Viscus and the lead Brother took the initiative to speak.

"We shall begin with hand to hand combat, followed by ax throwing, then spear hurling, and staff duels. Those of you who fail shall be eliminated, while those who continue to show greatness shall advance to the next challenge. Now, you shall assemble quickly at the Selection arena. Dismissed."

And with that, the orderly ranks quickly broke apart as the young males darted away to fetch their various weapons and the older, veteran onlookers moved off to continue with their daily chores.

Brother Viscus motioned an invitation for me to follow him and I did so, a bit woozily. Not only did I have to find a male who was well equipped in each style of combat, but I had to find one with promising spiritual intellect...

This was going to be a _long_ day...


	6. Chapter 6

Hey readers! Here we go with chapter 6!

* * *

**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Six

...

I was seated in an honorary position at the edge of the Selection arena just beside Brother Viscus and his second in command, and it was from there that I stayed to watch the competitions throughout the day.

Bones were broken in the hand to hand combat, axes were thrown into wooden target boards, spears where hurled with gobsmacking might, and the staff sparring was completely inthralling to witness. All in all, half way into the day of watching these young males compete with all their best, I had almost forgotten what they were competing for!

At last, the numbers of the zabrak were steadily knocked down till merely four young men remained. I had not asked Brother Viscus to distinguish to me just who these four were, since I wanted to remain aloof and only interest myself in those with excellent abilities, not their identities. But goodness, was I struggling!

One of the remaining males was indeed the same zabrak I had first laid my eyes on while they had each stood before me in ranks. He'd been in the first row, so I knew he had to be someone of significance... but just who? All day he'd been consistently proving his worth and now that the selection was quickly drawing to a close, I was put further onto the edge of my seat.

Thus far I had watched the competitions with keen interest, fascinated and thrilled at the amount of sheer force these zabrak males possessed, but now, my stomach was wound tight with anxiety.

As the four zabraks withdrew from those who had just been disqualified, they came to stand and await their next orders. Each were strong, well abled and good looking in their own way, but I simply could not refrain from favoring two over the other two.

I now rose from the seat I had been using for the day and stepping away from Brother Viscus, I approached the final four.

"You have each shown great skill and power in circumstances that require brute force," I praised. "But how will you stand up when it comes to using your mind to get yourself out of a difficult situation?" I asked, now backing up and guiding the four into a section of a large rock maze.

"Not only do you have to reach the middle of the maze, and attain one of the four flags awaiting you there, but you have to retrace your steps and find your way back out," I explained as we neared the four separate entrances.

"The one who comes in last, is disqualified," I stated, looking over the zabrak's faces. None seemed very concerned. Two looked extremely confident, while one was thinking a lot, and the last, the one I couldn't deny appreciating, seemed only calm. After a short pause, I shouted, "Go!"

Each zabrak had to enter from a different section of the maze, and thus had a different course they would need to memorize. I watched in amusement as one of the more confident zabraks shoved the calm one into the other two competitors before taking off for what appeared to him the most promising maze entrance.

The other two, disgruntled and slightly angry with the one who'd shoved them took off directly after, while the calm one entered last.

Interested to see how this would turn out, I glanced about and raced to a tall cliff face that over looked the maze. It was a suitable, high vantage point which allowed me to oversee each of the zabrak's progress from above.

I sat down, crossing my legs in a meditation stance and silently fretted over who would prove too slow or too stupid to achieve the ultimate goal. Even if this was how all the Nightsister's had selected mates for centuries, I still could not help but feel completely strange. It just wasn't natural. How was I supposed to feel totally _okay_ with this arrangement? And what of the zabraks? How did they feel about this? Did they feel anything?

Amidst my musings, I noted instantly that while three of the zabraks charged on through the mazes, running haphazardly into dead ends and various wrong turns, the handsome zabrak was taking things smartly slow. That one was definitely a veteran. He knew how to work through these things... and my interest was peeked as once again I struggled to not pick a favorite.

There was still a great possibility that this particular, slow going zabrak would not be fast enough...

As I continued to track that one zabrak's movements, I noted how he worked through the entire maze, calculating each of the turns and not panicking when he did come across dead ends. Meanwhile, the zabrak who had been the first to charge into the maze had now reached the center of the maze and snatched up his flag before darting back towards the way he'd come. However, his speed meant nothing when he found himself clearly confused as to which direction he had come. Wall after wall of wrong turns did he face, bringing any hopes of progress to a smashing halt.

Turning my attention back to watching the slow one, it wasn't long before he came into the center, and managed to do so second to last. Holding my breath, I watched as he scooped up the flag and darted now back into the maze route he'd come. This was where he picked up amazing speed. Not one wrong move did he make. Somehow, he'd managed to memorize his entire path and here he was, zooming through the course ahead of all the others! With amazing swiftness, he darted through the correct paths and an inward sense of relief flooded through me when it turned out he was the first through.

I stood up hastily from my high position and easily sprang off the tall rock, flipping through the air on my way down the slope with graceful, well practiced agility.

When I landed at the bottom, I approached the victorious zabrak with curiosity and definite interest.

"Well done," I commended, "That was impressive."

He turned towards me, and my heart caught at his sheer size and strong stature. His eyes were calm and gentle, not the slightest spark of haughtiness did I detect within them. He nodded, his head dipping deeply.

"Thank you."

His voice was deep and pleasant and I took a step back as that same stupid lurching sensation in my stomach returned.

I hesitated, standing quietly and wondering what I should say next, if anything.

Luckily, another of the competitors finished up a few short seconds afterwards and came over to join us, panting from exertion. The third male came out not too long after that, but the fourth was no where to be seen.

Knowing there was no reason to wait, I beckoned the three to follow after me for the next section of the competition. Brother Viscus waited behind to properly dismiss the last zabrak for me.

This upcoming trial would be the most exciting.

"The next stage will be combat against _me_," I stated as we walked to a flat sparring ring.

"No weapons, just pure skill," I added, turning to face them with hands on my hips. The expressions of the males were slightly taken off guard, but they each recovered quickly.

As it was, I was doing my best to produce all the self confidence I should have been feeling. It wasn't hard to put on a face, especially since I'd had to equip myself with it time and time again when facing my own Nightsisters in combat. But I told myself there was no real reason to worry.

After all, the Nightbrothers did answer to the Nightsisters for a reason...

Once we had each entered the large spar ring, I turned to face the final three competitors.

"Begin," I called, lifting my chin to eye the males. I'd seen enough of them that day to know at least some of their major weaknesses.

For the tallest zabrak it was his over-confidence. For the smaller, more compact male it was his impulsive decisions. But for the other zabrak... the '_impressive_' one... I wasn't quite sure. He hadn't shown much of any incompetence and had excelled in each of the tests so far...

He'd shown brute force and skill, for sure, but he had also shown keen intelligence and the patience to wait even when eager or anxious. I would have to be careful with that one.

Now, I would take them all on at once, and see who remained, and who proved unworthy.

It was only slightly intimidating, seeing three well muscled and large males facing me with the intentions of taking me down, but I couldn't keep the ready smile off my face.

This was definitely going to be a _fun_ experience.

I'd grown bored with sparring against the same set of sisters at the fortress. At least here I would get a new challenge!

Just as I had expected, it was the smallest zabrak who charged towards me first. I waited till the last possible second before swiftly twisting out of harms way and sending a knee right into the side of the hunter's torso, following up with a crack of my elbow between his shoulders.

With a swift set of well located kicks and damaging pressure points, I had the smaller hunter down on the ground, gasping for air. Feeling my body tremble with adrenaline and excitement, I back flipped away from my downed opponent to put some distance between us.

"You better get in here and help him," I beckoned to the other two.

Inwardly, I did commend them both on the fact that they had waited to see just what kind of opponent they were dealing with before rushing in at me. Again, instead of coming at me at once, it was the tallest of the zabraks to approach me next. He strode forward with a powerful stride, his eyes intense as they locked upon me with a predator's stare.

I analyzed him with appreciation, surprising myself with how allured I was to these males, in all their magnificent, beastly glory. Even in his over confidence the zabrak was impressive and attractive. Shaking my head into focus, I allowed the self-confident male to continue stalking me, knowing he was using an intimidation technique. I was familiar with it, and at one point in my life, might have actually fell for the tactic. But not today.

I watched him intently, using my own calm and peaceful expression to unsettle my attacker in turn.

Only someone extremely skilled could display such assurance in their features when facing such an opponent as this.

I was small, and indeed many in my past had dared to call me weak... but this young zabrak would have to find out the truth for himself. The hard way.

...


	7. Chapter 7

Okay folks! Thanks for checking back in and I hope you continue to enjoy the story! Things are about to get extremely active! :D

* * *

**Search For The Father**

* * *

Chapter Seven

...

The zabrak charged at me. His shoulders tense, his jaw clenched and his arms pumping by his sides. When he came within striking distance the male unleashed a wild fist aimed straight towards my chest.

I sidestepped, dodging swiftly, and answered with a left hook to the big brute's under jaw, which he did not expect.

However, I didn't stop there. This was a big male, and he could take a lot of punishment. As it was he had recovered quickly, unleashing another swipe my way. I responded by weaving away from his strike and landing a forceful kick to the side of his knee. The shot was swift and sudden, causing him to loose balance. Once he was off center, tilting over, I followed up by delivering a harsh crack to the back of his neck with my elbow, just under his skull.

Crying in pain and anger, the zabrak went down into the dirt, no doubt his vision was going black. But I didn't linger to watch his pain.

As soon as I'd finished landing those hits, I back flipped away towards the single remaining male still standing in the ring who had not yet entered into the fight. I decided to come at him with my own unexpected attack, not wanting him to get any more time to survey my tactics.

My first strike came in mid air while I was bending out from my final backflip, but the warrior evaded my strike and moved in, taking initiative to try and trip me up the moment my feet hit the ground.

The moment my foot touched down it was swept out from under me. Fear and surprise lurched through me. Luckily, my body was accustomed to be knocked down, and automatically knew how to roll into the fall in order so that I was able to regain both my feet a couple yards away.

I eyed the zabrak carefully, noting his size and the sheer thickness of his legs, thighs, arms and chest. He wasn't as foolish of an opponent as my last ones had been and I found myself intrigued and silently impressed by him.

However, the moment I noted the zabrak was not advancing towards me, but was taking time to watch me again, my brain went instantly back into fight mode, calculating just how I was going to take him down. His body was all broad mass and strength so I would have to continue to use precise pressure points. Either that, or center my many hits to the face or the back of his head.

It was a challenge, rethinking all of my fighting tactics which I normally used with ease against my sisters. These brothers were a totally different story and I had to admit, I was momentarily uncertain if I had enough strength to take this one in particular down...

Not wanting to waste any more time, I swept forward all of the sudden, scooping in towards his right and landing an exploring hit to his side there.

After the hit had struck, I twisted to the left hastily, delivering another quick set of strikes, done for the sole purpose of rattling his cage.

He grunted at the impacts but was not slowed. He set forth a motion to strike at me, and I noted how he had calculated moves to keep me dancing about, unable to find a good balance point for my feet. Aside from the slight frustration I began to feel, I was also pleased. He was smart, and always thought on the offensive.

I weaved and managed to avoid getting knocked down but as I set up for another bbarrage of attacks I suddenly became aware that I was being rushed once more by the very first zabrak I had taken down. The short, compact one.

Using my unnatural agility skills, I sprang straight up into the air, jumping clear up over the second warrior, and thus causing the charging zabrak to barrel into the intelligent one.

As soon as I had dodged the incoming threat, I found myself being advanced on by the self-confident zabrak. Knowing he was no real challenge, and already having faced him, I met him half way in a collusion of hard hits. To my own satisfaction, I made speedy, vicious work of bruising his body in various places and quite possibly breaking his knee.

I heard a crack when I'd kicked it, and the male had cried out in agony.

_Pathetic_.

As soon as I was finished wreaking havoc on the incompetent competitor, I once again turned my attention over to the intelligent zabrak and the short one. Both were back up and seemed to be trying to coordinate an attack against me.

The intelligent one made a hand motion and they began to move in from both sides, slowly and with caution.

I smiled lightly, feeling somewhat amused, but I settled back into a ready stance. The sudden sobering thought that this would quite possibly be the final determining factor of who would be my mate, caused my stomach to churn in anticipation.

The intelligent one lunged.

I reacted quickly, jumping to the side but also throwing a punch as I dodged. The zabrak evaded my fist, throwing his leg in a strong kick that caught me off guard.

As it was, the kick impacted to my torso and I stomached it with some surprise.

It was enough to stun me long enough to be tackled down by the second zabrak. I rolled, keeping up the momentum from being knocked down and ended up on top of the zabrak, with my legs strapped around his waist. I punched the large male upside the head several times before I sensed the intelligent one coming up behind me.

With a swoop through the air, I heard his arms snatching out to lock around me but I acted a slight bit faster than he.

In a sudden act of impulse, I once again sprang upwards in another unexplainable leap, to flip backwards over him and land behind his position.

As soon as I landed, I gave a kick to the center of his back, shoving him to stumble over the already downed warrior.

He growled lowly and dived to the side, just avoiding landing on top of the other dazed zabrak. I could see the lines of growing frustration on their faces. Not wanting them to become too enraged, for I knew that it would only lead to me beating the sense out of the both of them, I decided then and there that the fight was over.

I lifted a hand.

"That one has been eliminated," I declared, pointing over towards the zabrak in the far distance who was still nursing his injured knee.

"Next challenge," I said, motioning the remaining two after me and away from the sparring circle. I didn't look back over my shoulder to make sure they followed.

()()()

I led the two males, towards where Brother Viscus and his second in command had been waiting, overseeing the fight. Facing the competitors, I motioned them to sit upon the ground in proper meditation stance. Both exchanged odd looks to one another but complied. Once they were seated, I produced from my cloak two black blind folds.

I had ripped the black fabric strips from a part of my own garments during the time I had watched each of the other earlier events. It wasn't until the spear throwing that I had actually come up with an idea of how to test for spiritual sensitivity within the final two competitors. Now I would find out if it worked...

I paced around them to apply the blind folds nice and gently, but tight enough to keep them from falling.

"This is about your instincts," I informed them with a small grin.

"You won't see my hand coming to slap you, but you'll sure feel it if you don't act to stop me," I warned, coming to sit right before the smaller zabrak first. His face twitched with displeasure at the idea of getting slapped and I couldn't help but grin.

"When you think I'm coming, you lift your hand to block me like this," I instructed, taking hold of his hand and lifting it to mimic the right way. His skin was tougher than any I had ever felt, and when my grip first made gentle contact with him, I felt my heart beat slightly quicker with the different sensation.

Of course, I'd touched them a bit ago... but punching and kicking hardly had qualified at the time.

The warrior nodded but was still making a face, clearly not pleased about this humiliating set of circumstances. However, I knew this test was far bigger than simply goading their egos.

Mother Talzin had made it clear that I could not take a mate who did not have a level head, but she'd stressed the importance of the male having high spiritual sensitivity even more so.

And this test would require above and beyond the typical instincts that a good warrior possessed. They would have to predict what they could not see coming. They would have to rely on a force beyond themselves.

That was something even _I_ was still working on...

I stayed still and silent, keeping my breathing even and quiet.

Then, I struck.

My slap was not brutal, but it hurt enough that the warrior would definitely _not_ want to have it happen again. As it was, he grimaced briefly, his jaw clenching in irritation.

I slapped again, and again. Then, the fourth time, the male snapped his hand up and caught my wrist. A lucky a guess.

The process was repeated a few times, with the warrior only managing to block that only one of my slaps out of the six that I delivered. Each time he'd become more on edge, but no less prepared. His arm would jump out at unnecessary times, or he'd block too slowly. He'd been relying on his hearing, or so I believed, and that did him little good.

Finished with him, I then moved to the intelligent one. Even sitting before him I felt slightly nervous. Taking a deep breath, I lifted my hand to his arm, showing him just as I'd done for the other male how to block my incoming hit. Silently, I relished the feel of him. His skin also was rough, but it had a pleasant warmth to it...

Berating myself for getting so easily distracted, I removed my hand from his and got back to business at hand.

The male sat calmly, not betraying any of the same signs of displeasure that the other zabrak had.

I could not deny that I had strong hopes that this zabrak would do better than his competitor in this challenge... but there was every bit of chance that he would do just as bad, or worse.

"Deep breaths, try to feel it. Don't go off on a whim. You need to _feel_," I instructed softly.

He nodded.

I waited then, leaving him in silent suspense for a good few minutes before lashing out suddenly.

His hand shot up to block the strike.

As he took my wrist in his grip, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction and appreciation. Now _that_ showed great promise... He had blocked on his first try. Excitedly, I withdrew and repeated.

Again, he caught me. My heart beat more rapidly, as I continued my erratic attempts to land a slap on him. But each of the six times, he rose and blocked.

I was left astounded. Such raw, untapped potential... and already he was so intune! It had taken me years to find my spiritual center! Part of my soul wrenched in jealousy.

Even now, after years of practice, I doubted that I was capable of successfully using my senses when in a dire situation.

I breathed out shakily, and slowly lifted my hand up to remove his blind fold, sliding it gently away from his eyes.

He blinked at the fresh light and then fixed his gaze upon me, his expression softly curious.

So... this was the one then...

I swallowed, definitely pleased but at the same time, slightly hesitant. This was to be my _mate_... My brain still could not fathom that. Perhaps it was because I had no idea how to relate him into my own life. Everything about him would be completely foreign to me. But what I did know was that I thought I liked him, and that was something to start with.

"Well done..." I said at last.

He nodded simply, "Thank you."

I took that moment to look deep into the zabrak's sharp eyes, wondering just _who_ he really was. So much mystery swirled behind those rich irises and I couldn't help but wish that I knew more about him...

"What is your name?" I asked at length.

"Xadus," the young male answered. _Xadus_... I liked that name.

"What of your own?"

I blinked at the fact that he felt confident enough to inquire a name in turn from myself. Up until that point, none of the other males, including Brother Viscus had dared to ask me a personal question. It felt nice to have that interaction once more.

"I am Souza," I replied.

Glancing over to the other zabrak, I reached over and removed his blindfold.

"You are free to go," I stated, motioning that the losing zabrak leave.

The warrior pursed his lips but nodded deeply and stood up, leaving us.

It was at that time that Brother Viscus came forward.

"Are you satisfied then sister?" he inquired carefully.

I regarded Xadus another moment, my heart flip flopping and my gut fluttering with excitement at his attractive features and lively eyes. Eyes that I hoped would reveal to me the soul of a mate as constant and reliable as he had proven himself in the fighting ring that day...

"Yes," I answered, a small smile gracing my lips.

...

(In case you were wondering at what point Xadus's POV is coming back, it will be the next chapter!)


	8. Chapter 8

Hello folks! Sorry it's been a while since my last update! I've been busy with family stuff, and haven't been too focussed on Fanfiction lately! However, I finally have another chapter for you, and I hope you like it!.

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Eight

...

"Are you satisfied then, sister?" asked Brother Viscus.

The Nightsister turned her black tatted face towards me, her eyes piercing intensely into my own.

"Yes," she replied. Our faces were closer than what was comfortable, and my heart was thudding hard in my chest, adrenaline left over from the Selection now pooling cold into my tightly coiled stomach.

So, the Nightsister- _Souza_... was pleased.

I suppose I should have felt instantly relieved, but instead I just watched her tensely, pensive and wary.

My muscles were still clenched, the memory of her speed and lethalness in battle still vividly fresh in my mind.

I had claimed victory over all of my brothers, even Sivas, in front of the village and the elders, a fact which should have rewarded me with much pride, but at the same time I had witnessed a sister with skill enough to nearly frighten me. Of course, the terms of the battle had been complicated and I was convinced that I would have preformed better had it just been her and I in the sparring ring. But still. She'd succeeded in intimidating me.

The fact that I had won the grand prize of becoming this Nightsister's mate was by no means appealing. I certainly didn't _want_ her. At the moment, I could not conjure up a single reason why I should be pleased with myself for having won her to be my own.

That was, until I happened to lock eyes with my father.

He was standing just beside Brother Viscus after having arrived from his command post in the village. I had no idea if he'd actually been witness to all of the Selection events, but the doting smile he fixed upon me was the warmest, most fulfilling sight I had ever seen.

Suddenly, I was thinking that all this just might be worth the while.

My father Neprad had been the most instrumental part of my training. Why, he was as much a part of this victory as I was. Without his consistent dedication and support throughout my development I would not have made it far into the Selection, much less been the victor.

With a deep sigh, I decided not to let my usually brooding temper keep me down. I turned my gaze back to the Nightsister to analyze her. There had to be _something_ in this set of circumstances that enticed me.

She was beautiful to be sure, this _Souza_... But she was also dangerous. I'd been rather bold in asking for her own name, after she'd inquired of my own. However, I'd been rewarded positively, and not reprimanded. I couldn't deny this was uplifting to me.

From the moment I stood in line with my fellow brothers and first beheld her up close, I had sensed the power emanating off of her in billowing waves. As she'd paced the ranks, her shoulders square, her brilliant green eyes sharp and shrewd, I'd seen every indication that she would be as cruel as my brothers had forewarned me.

However, when she'd stopped before me a moment to survey me closer, she looked me straight in the eye, and I had taken the liberty of delving into her gaze, seeking for what lie beneath. She had been well guarded, to be sure, but her eyes had lacked the cold indifference that I had expected...

In all truth... she'd almost seemed _curious_. This came as quite a shock to me.

Then, once the Selections had begun, my preconceptions of the Nightsister Souza had truly crumbled to an abrupt halt.

The first rounds of the competition had proceeded with nothing out of the ordinary. But then, my world was rocked when I realized the Sister had actually _refrained_ from taking any lives of my fallen brothers. Such a demonstration of mercy had not ever been practiced by Nightsisters to my knowledge. They were cruel, heartless creatures with absolutely no tolerance for those who they deemed below them.

_Souza's_ behavior did not fit into any category I had been prepared to expect. Why spare the loosing men, when weakness had always been a fault intolerable to the sisters? She certainly had the skill to take their lives if she had so wished.

What was I to make of her?

She was nothing but an illusive riddle to me, much like the texts of old literature my father had used to read to me every night after our supper.

"I will require a room to stay for the night," Souza commented suddenly. "I have some questions I intend to ask of you before we depart in the morning."

"Of course," Brother Viscous replied with a quick nod to her.

Souza then looked back to me and stood up from off the ground.

"You have tonight to gather your things. You will be coming back to the temple with me for a time," she informed quietly.

I followed Souza's lead and stood, uncertainty filling my heart at the idea of leaving my home.

None the less, I did my best to hide my discomfort and pursed my lips with a nod.

"Very well."

There was a momentary lapse of silence where I took my time just watching her. The sister seemed to be hesitating, and quite suddenly, her entire countenance shifted from being sure and directing to anxious and awkward.

"You... uh... you and I are going to be mates now," Souza practically stuttered, her eyes lifting up to mine briefly before fluttering away again. "Do you have any issues with that?"

Wait, _**what?**_

Her pensive demeanor in addition to her question stunned me senseless.

She was _asking_ me?

But of course I couldn't answer her truthfully! The Twin Gods knew I had every reason in the world to wish to back out of this unfair system, set up by generations of prejudice female ancestors! However, despite my own nervousness about all of this, I was not so stupid as to deny the Nightsister anything. It was against custom and despite my feelings on the situation I would never willingly bring shame upon my father.

"I have no issues, no," I answered.

She regarded me, then nodded.

"Alright."

She then turned away to follow the lead of Brother Viscus who had her things unloaded from her speeder and brought to a small inn in the center of town.

Only now did I feel free to exchange a look and with my father. Neprad smiled warmly, approaching to place a heavy, warm hand on my shoulder.

"You did well, today. And I'm very proud of you."

I could not help but smile at my father's words. It always meant so much whenever he said them. And it made the situation I'd been dragged into... well... worth it. I nodded my head.

"Thanks, father."

We then parted, and I turned to start walking down the dirt road in a dazed state of shock. Evidently, I still did not fully grasp what was happening because I made it to my house without being arrested by a panic attack, and managed to even open my own door before collapsing against the side of the wall.

How long was I to stay away? How far would the journey be to the Nightsister temples? What kind of services would be required of me once I arrived? All I could remember from my childhood about the temples were the dark, gloomy halls, and the hard labor I'd been tasked with.

Surely nothing good could come of my living with the Sisters. Nothing good ever came of the Sisters...

I could only wish that my stay at the temples would not last long, and that I could return to my father to resume life as I'd always known it.

There was just one problem...

In all of the time that I had grown and seen the way things in society were run, I'd never felt settled with it. Too much about our culture made my skin crawl with anger at the injustices my brothers were subjected to. Naturally, I did not know any other way, but I did know that I was extremely dissatisfied.

And what was more... it concerned me that by letting Souza take me as her mate, my child...be it male or female, would either become a slave like myself, or be enslaved to the ritualistic ideals of Mother Talzin...

Sighing and lifting a hand to rub my face, I was suddenly besieged by a great, hulking reptile that came at me with an excited screech.

"Oh no, Vas! Down! Vas!" I cried.

The four-legged reptile, called a Kamurith, stopped its charge just in time before careening into me, the tall orange sail on its back wavering side to side. My pet looked up at me with shining orange eyes and panted. A grin tugged at my lips and I bent down and patted her on the head, feeling the thick, rough, almost scale-like skin that covered the animal's body.

Turning, I patted my thigh, signaling Vas to follow me as I made my way to my own room. I needed to begin packing my things, however much I loathed to do it.

Naturally, I did not own much. I grabbed the same bag I usually took while going on prolonged hunting trips and placed my spare clothes inside, as well as various small knives, attaching other weapons to the outside of the pack, and folding in whatever small personal items I owned.

Only once I was done did I take a seat on my bed- a wooden frame with a thick skin stretched over it, a feathered pillow, and several blankets of varrying materials ranging from skins, to pelts, to cloth made from harvested plant fibers.

Vas climbed up onto the bed as well, her massive weight (all 80 kilograms of her) straining the frame and the skin wrapped around it. The reptile put her head in my lap, after several moments making a small vibration in her throat, almost a purr. Vas usually had the knack for being acutely aware of my moods and seemed particularly troubled by the one I currently was in...

There was no way I could explain to her why I felt the way I did, but her big, scaly mass sitting next to me did wonders to comfort me in my moment of weakness. For the next hour I remained in my room, reflecting on my years in this quaint village and all the memories I cherished here.

Perhaps it was stupidly sentimental, considering I knew I would be returning eventually, but I sat there moping away my afternoon none the less. Finally, when I was finished with my pity party, I got up and left the house, determined to find something interesting to do.

The inn house of the village doubled as a bar, and though I was decidedly not a drinker- save for very happy occasions- (which were few and far between as it was) there were times when I did not mind sharing company with the males who I found there.

I would have gone to spend time with my father, except for he was still officially on duty, and it was best not to bother him while he had work to do. So I turned into the inn bar floor, looking to the counter which was slightly populated, and then to the tables where I suddenly spotted Souza.

She was sitting with a male Zabrak called Tosht. I did not know Tosht well, but then again, no one did. He was more of a recluse and didn't socialize except for on the rarest occasions.

Frankly, I was confused to find him sitting with Souza, a Nightsister of all people.

What could this mean? I waited, lingering in the entrance until suddenly Souza looked up, her green eyes fixing on mine. She looked pretty, a strange grace and loveliness about her that was completely unfamiliar to me in a village full of nothing but males. Even if I feared her, I could not deny I enjoyed looking at her.

Tosht, seeing me at the door way nodded respectfully my direction.

"Congratulations," he stated to me, standing from the chair as I approached.

I nodded in response.

"Thank you, Tosht."

"All happiness," Tosht finished lastly, also sending a quick glance to Souza before he left.

As the Zabrak retreated out of the inn, I couldn't help quirking my brow. However, I knew better than to press for answers. Instead, I turned to face Souza from where she was sitting at.

"I have my things packed and am ready for when you wish to depart," I informed.

Souza nodded then gestured to the now empty chair across from her.

"Would you like to sit?" she inquired softly.

I blinked briefly, surprised at the gesture, but nodded, and took the seat.

"Thank you," I said politely. Another awkward silence settled between us and I wondered if it would be wrong of me to speak first, or wait for her. Then, she spoke.

"Your village is nice," Souza commented. "Very different then my own... but still pleasant," she added.

I swallowed, unsure what kind of territory this conversation would lead to but finding I had no choice but to explore it.

"The Nightsister village has many differences, especially the terrain," I returned. "I wouldn't suppose you have ventured beyond the forests before?" I asked with a touch of care in my tone hoping not to offend or annoy her.

"This was my first time to venture outside of our territory, yes," Souza admitted openly.

I was not surprised.

"With the other clans out there, it seems reasonable not to leave the boarders unless looking for a mate," I responded.

"It is true. Aside from males, our forests have all we Nightsisters really need..." Souza agreed with a small shrug.

With what seemed another almost-lull in the conversation, I wondered if I should ask about Souza's conversation with Tosht. It wasn't appropriate at all for me to ask, but my curiosity often inspired me to do unwise things.

After a moment, I threw caution to the wind.

"Could I ask you something...?"

Souza's eyes lifted up to mine, sending a shiver of apprehension through me. But she responded pleasantly.

"Yes, of course," she replied.

Taking encouragement from this, I rushed on with what I wanted to say before I got cold feet.

"I was curious about why you were speaking with Tosht before I arrived," I explained, hoping she would feel free to elaborate and not shut down the conversation before it had even begun. She seemed... obliging enough, though.

Souza's eyes sharpened slightly and my blood ran cold. I'd stepped out of place. I'd pushed it, and now I'd get it. I braced, preparing for the raging outburst. But to my relief, she merely sat quietly, studying me closely.

I could not help but feel like she was searching into my soul, the way she held contact with my gaze. I struggled to not feel inferior under her scrutinizing stare. Then at last, she answered.

"I was curious to know the name of my father... and whether or not he still lived within this village..."


	9. Chapter 9

_Apologies readers for the delay in udating!_  
_I have so much of this story pre-written and it isn't hard to post more content, I've just had such little time these days! However, I have more chapters ready to be published to you so I hope your reviews keep coming! Thank you also, for hammering me with pleads to continue! It really helps me get motivated to take the time to update!_

_Anyway, we are now back to Souza's POV! Also, so none of you are confused, this chapter starts a bit further back from where I last left you off! Enjoy!_

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Nine

...

It was strange being surrounded by nothing but males, but I was no longer frightened of them at least.

As Brother Viscus led the way through the streets, a few young males, around the ages of ten and eleven ran down the road kicking a dirty ball amidst them.

It was the first time I had ever seen a small boy, and the sight evoked a strange emotion within me.

They were... adorable... purely, and wonderfully adorable. The expressions of joy and determination on their tiny, innocent faces was something unique and compelling to behold.

There was no gaurdedness amidst these young ones and they wore their emotions plainly on their faces, so different from the giant males walking about me now...

I found myself smiling lightly as I watched them continue play exuberantly, kicking the ball down the dirt road when suddenly they saw me and stopped dead and their tracks. The tiny clan each stuttered to a halt in the street and their expressions shifted quickly from glee to seriousness. Such a fast transition took me by surprise, and embarrassed to have disturbed their game, I marched past them at a much quicker pace, desperate to escape their notice. But the image of their faces remained in my mind the rest of the walk to the inn, and I could not help but feel like I was seen as some dangerous person in their midst.

I'd no exerience with children, and the fact that my precense had so altered their mood made me cringe in remorse. I'd much have preferred them to smile at me. And it was in that moment that I remembered the very reason I was becoming mated in thefirst place. It was my duty to bare a child...

Letting out a short breath of horror, I forced the subject to the back of my mind as we entered into the small town inn. The air became insantly thicker and more putrid, causing me to wrinkle my nose in offense. Brother Viscus led me through the empty room of round wood tables and chairs, past a long bar counter until we reached a back hall of tiny rooms. It was before one of the doors that Viscus halted and the man servant stopped to open it for me. It was indeed a small room, with no more than a bed, a window and a set of shelves on the wall. The servant carfely set my belongings down for me on the bed, then exited the room swiftly..

"Whenever you are ready, I shall be waiting out in the pub in order so that I may answer whatever questions you may have for me," Brother Viscus explained. "And now, if you excuse me, I hope you have good rest," he said, exiting the room after his helper and leaving me alone in silence.

I eyed the bed with wanting. It did look soft... and after having slept on the cold ground the past two nights... maybe a nap would do me good.

And so, after I switched from my travel, combat worn clothes and did my best to clean myself up, I laid down and took a half hour long nap. It was not hard for me to fall into sleep, for my body was quite exhausted, and so was my mind.

My last thoughts as I drifted off were that of hoping to find my father...

...

When I awoke, feeling somewhat frefreshed, I determined that I could lie down no longer. The questions within me regarding my mystery father could be restrained no more. I wanted answers. Answers which my mother never once saw fit to give to me.

Quietly, I readied my appearance and emerged from my room and into the bar where the lead Brother's were waiting.

Viscus sat up straighter upon seeing the my entery into the small pub.

A chair was empty across from him at a nice table and when I approached to sit, a male server came forward to pour me a drink in a clean glass.

Experimentally I tasted it, curious to experience all the smells, tastes and sights of this village.

Oh, but the drink was strong and bitter! So bitter that I nearly gagged right there, but I managed to withhold some dignity, instead only coughing a couple times and setting the glass back down.

I noted Viscus's smile of amusement in the corner of my eye, but it was gone as quickly as I detected it.

"So... sister... what is it that you have to ask of me?" Viscus inquired.

So, this was it.

It was strange how a male I had just met was so ready to provide me with anything my heart desired, while my mother, who raised me from birth, had always seemed determined to hide from me the things which I most wanted to know.

"I have a question concerning one of your village men..." I began tactifully, taking another determined swallow of the bitter drink and struggling through the aftertaste.

"A different male than the one you shall take as mate?" Viscus clarified with a cocked brow.

"Well... yes... but... you see this male... he already has a mate and... the Nightsister who had chosen him was my mother... Senwah..." I explained tentatively. I was uncertain if any other Nightsisters before me had dared to question the Nightbrothers on personal matters like this...

By the look that came onto Brother Viscus's face, I could tell then and there that it was not an often occurence.

"Ahh... I see," Brother Viscus responded slowly.

"Do you know... if he... is he still here?" I blurted inelegantly, biting my lip afterwards in anticipation of the Brother's answer.

"So many males are chosen to become mated pairs with the Sisters, that I'm afraid I do not have all committed to memory," Viscus admitted. "But I do have a record book that I keep all of the lineages in tact," he assured. "I shall have one of my men fetch it."

"Thank you..." I responded, a thankful sigh leaving my lips.

Viscus motioned over towards the pub exit where a zabrak had stood waiting. As soon as the signal was made, the male was off and jogging towards Viscus's main office quarters in town.

"I do so hope this curiosity is not a result of any displeasurable circumstances?" Viscus prodded carefully.

"No... no displeasurable circumstances," I answered. At least- not in the way he was thinking. I could have argued that my whole life had been full of displeasurable circumstances, thanks to the sorry Nightbrother who was my father. But that was information best kept to myself.

The male servant was back in no time and Viscus took the record book, setting it heavily down upon the table. It was a thick text, and very old from the looks of its worn cover.

"Passed down to me by my father, and to my father from my grandfather," Viscus provided. I nodded, staring down at the text in interest.

He then opened the text up, laying it open with a heavy thud against the table, and beginning to scroll through the names.

I watched him with curiosity, noting just _how_ many names that were listed in that book...

Male names... and Nightsister names...

This really was a ritual that had been going on for a long... _long_ time.

The thought that my own name would soon be etched in there beside the others, well... it made me a tad bit queasy.

I swallowed. Was that all I was? Just another name on a page? What was my life truly worth? Was my life only worth what potential talents that my baby would one day have?

And what of the vision my mother had had before my departure from the temple?

How was I possibly supposed to find happiness and love like _this_?

As I continued to stare down at the names, I considered how perhaps many of the women before me might have felt the same way... but had never done or said anything about it.

Then, the head Brother spoke, removing my mind from my thoughts.

"Approximately 21 years ago... Senwah took Rodmir as her mate," he spoke. Rodmir! Finally! A name! Excitement filled me, racing through my heart. Then... Viscus continued.

"Ahh yes, Rodmir..."

While repeating the name, Viscus's expression fell into one of deep, dark contemplation.

I blinked, and my heart plummeted at the expression of distaste upon the lead brother's face. Such a look from him could not bode well.

I feared the worst.

"Is... is my father... did he... pass away?" I inquired, dreading the answer to come.

Brother Viscus looked up then, and for the first time, really locked his eyes upon mine.

"I do not know of his fate," he answered. "Rodmir left the clan ten years ago to pursue a future that was never intended for him... He disgraced this clan and caused an uprising of dissension between the villages. His rebellion against our ways brought on much dispute and disunity."

_WHAT?!_ My brain exclaimed.

"He... he left?" I croaked out, eyes widening in disbelief.

Viscus looked decidedly disgusted with the topic, but grit through it, nodding grudgingly.

"Where? Where did he go?" I demanded urgently.

"Of that I am not certain, but there is one in town in whom Rodmir once confided very closely in. _He_ may know," Viscus replied, though he looked none to happy about it. "The incident is not allowed to be spoken of in this clan, for the very name '_Rodmir_' is a disgrace to our way of life," the brother informed stiffly. "It is an offense to not only our traditions- but to history itself," Viscus went on.

"Please, understand that this is a subject which none here desire to be mentioned. However, you are a revered sister... and it is because you so inquire this information from us, that I shall allow the topic to be spoken of... _briefly_," Viscus stated.

I could hardly believe the words I was hearing, but I had the sense enough to nod quickly in regard to the lead Brother's statement. He nodded in turn.

"The nightbrother's name is Tosht," Viscus supplied. "I shall have someone fetch him for you."

"Thank you," I responded.

"Is this all you wished to ask of me?" Viscus asked.

"Yes. From what you've told me, it seems like Tosht may have more of the answers I wish to know," I replied. Viscus nodded and stood from the table, collecting the text.

"My deepest respects. I shall meet you once again for your morning departure," the Brother replied.

With a swift bow, Viscus left and I found myself alone at the table with my half empty glass.

I stared at it, deep in thought over what I had just learned. My father had... _left_?

...I did not know that was even _possible_...

Yet strangely, now everything made so much more sense!

My father's "wild and reckless behavior", and how my mother never wished to speak of him... Everything!

"He's gone?" I breathed out loud to myself.

He must had made quite the stir upon his leaving... Why... the Nightbrothers were practically indentured slaves to the Nightsisters will! To take it upon oneself to leave without permission must have caused a huge commotion!

Setting an elbow on the table, I rested my cheek against my palm and considered how I felt about all of this. Of course, I was astonished... but it was not a negative shock that I was experiencing... In fact, I felt... almost.. _relieved_!

Relieved? How awful of me! But yes... that was what it was! Someone... my own _father_ had stepped out and done something no one else had ever done! No doubt he'd been a huge embarrassment and sense of enragement to his clan, but dog gone it- I bet he was darn well happy wherever he was doing whatever it was he wanted!

Now a sense of unease suddenly stirred about in my stomach, even more intense then the sensation I'd felt when watching the males during the selection challenge.

Breathing shakily out, I blinked upon seeing a shadow of a male stretch across the wall before me.

Someone had entered the pub and I turned to look at him over my shoulder.

The zabrak was tan faced with small black tattoo lines streaking about his eyes and mouth. He had long black hair that was braided off to the side, and he approached cautiously, his eyes uncertain and tense.

"Sister...?" he asked tentatively, approaching the table.

"I am Souza. You must be Tosht," I responded without hesitation., "I have some questions about my father. About Rodmir."

At the mention of the name, Tosht's face went nearly ashen with fear. For a moment, I thouht he would make a break back out the door of the pub, and that I would have to chase him down on the street.

"Brother Viscus has given you the permission to speak about Rodmir due to my personal request," I mentioned hastily, not wanting him to even consider a need to escape.

"I only have a few questions and they won't take long," I promised.

"What do you want to know?" Tosht asked, his expression hard, gaurded and pensive.

I gestured welcomingly that he take the extra chair across from me, and so he did.

"Viscus said you were close to my father, Rodmir," I began, "He said that if anyone has any idea of where he might have left to... it would be you."

Tosht clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth bitterly.

"He betrayed me. He left me and because we were friends, everyone took their anger out on _me_. Every person's spite and ridicule that was meant to be for Rodmir was aimed at **me**," Tosht spat. "I did not put any ideas into his head. I was the one to try and talk him out of them!" he defended hotly.

I pursed my lips, seeing the need to discuss this topic with extreme care. "I'm not here to place any more blame on anyone. I simply want to know where Rodmir might have gone after leaving the planet."

Tosht huffed and leaned back tiredly into his chair.

"He talked about going to all sorts of places," he shrugged. "Mostly he just talked about wanting to get out into the galaxy with his skills and make a name for himself off world in the professional fighting circuits."

"Fighting circuits?" I asked, my interest increasing.

Tosht nodded. "He was a wrestler. Best in the village. And he could take a hit. He bested every man in this village and out. But that wasn't enough for him. He wanted to see how he would do on other worlds, with other kinds of humanoids," Tosht explained.

"Then, one night, he asked me to help him with something. I was so stupid and blind at the time... I did. And well... that something was smuggling him to a ship and safely off the planet. That unexpected goodbye... It made me want to kill him." Tosht growled.

I swallowed, looking at the raging anger but also the pain that Tosht felt plainly on his face.

Then, as if snapping himself out of a transe, Tosht shook his head and looked back to me.

"I have no idea if he actually was successful in that foolheaded dream of his... but that's what he said. And once Rodmir put his mind to something... he always got it done..." Tosht finished.

A fine quality, I thought with pride. The more I heard of my father, the more I decided that I liked him.

"Well... thank you. I don't believe I have any more questions," I reponded at last. "I appreciate you taking your time to speak with me."

Tosht nodded and stood up all too readily from the table.

"Congratulations," he said suddenly, cuasing me to blink in confusion. For what?

"Xadus is an impressive young man. I think you will be most pleased with him," Tosht finished, then swiftly left the room.

_Oh_. Yeah...

Then, suddenly, Xadus was there, standing in the door way.

...

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_Well, there you have it people. Now we're back to where we left off. :) Hope you enjoyed the length of this chapter, and please, PLEASE keep up with the awesome reviews! _


	10. Chapter 10

_Yay! Reviews! They make me so happy :D_

_And look how effective they are! Here I have anoer update for you already! Enjoy folks!_

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Ten

...

"I was curious about why you were speaking with Tosht before I arrived," Xadus explained.

Now he was looking at me carefully with that hansome face, his eyes containing more than a little caution.

In turn, I studied Xadus closely. He was going to be my _mate_. My **MATE**! I still could hardly wrap my brain around it. But one thing I did know was that if we were going to forge any kind of bond... then it would need to start with honesty.

Throwing caution to the wind, I decided I actually very much wanted to tell all about my troubles to _somebody_.

"I was curious to know the name of my father... and whether or not he still lived within the village," I admitted at last.

Xadus blinked, taking a quick moment to process what I'd said. No doubt my reply had caught him off guard, but he recovered admirably fast.

"And did you find out...?" he asked, with a little less caution this time and more curiosity.

"I found out that his name is Rodmir- and that he left the planet of his own power some time ago..."I answered, my gaze lowering to the table. It wasn't hard to imagine that Xadus might have already known the disgraceful events that Rodmir clearly had caused...

And if he did... well... I supposed I should have felt embarrassed that this was my own _father_ who had been so hated, but I really didn't.

In fact, I was slightly disconcerted that I actually agreed with my father's course of action. Why, I truly admired him for chasing his dreams, no matter how hard they might have been to achieve...

Xadus' brows lifted in some surprise.

"I heard about that," he answered slowly. My heart beat obnoxiously in my chest. "I thought it was a brave thing to do, under the circumstances."

Shocked, I gawked at the zabrak in excitement.

"Really? You too?" I asked, blurting out my enthusiasm before I had a chance to moderate my tone.

To my further surprise, Xadus flashed me a slight smile and nodded. Oh, how I did like that smile.

"I thought I was bound to be the only one... " I admitted quietly, even now not daring to speak too loudly for fear our coversation would be over heard.

"There aren't many, but there are some," Xadus replied softly. What relief I felt rising inside my soul! So I was not the only one who thought going against tradition was such a horrifying prospect.

"I could not help but wonder... with so many generations... there must be at least a few who wonder if this kind of lifestyle is really for them..." I responded in a very faint whisper.

It was then that I noted a male across the room who was glancing our way. Cold sweat broke out on my skin. We really shouldn't have been talking about this where others could hear...

As it was, the pub had a few other males in it who were sending me infrequent glances.

Some were even a bit leering...

"Perhaps we should speak elsewhere..." Xadus offered, almost as if he'd read my mind. I nodded my agreement.

"Where?" I inquired curiously.

"My father and I live in one of the largest homes here. We could speak in the couryard inside if you wished," Xadus suggested.

I considered this, then nodded. I did want to see Xadus's home...

The zabrak nodded, and stood, motioning politely that I follow him. I did so, walking close beside him.

We left the inn's bar together and headed off along the main road, then turned into a side road to the left, where we came to a relatively large home at the end of a court. Xadus let us in, taking me a bit off guard when he paused to hold open the gate door for me. He waited patiently as it finally registered to me what he was doing and I walked hastily forward.

Upon entering I looked about with interest at the courtyard, quite impressed with the set up and the architecture of the home, as well as the good smelling plants and the lightness of the atmosphere.

Only after I had taken a brief moment to assess my surroundings was I startled at the sight of a large, fanned, reptilian creature. It stood tense and made a rumbling hissing sound in its throat as it barged into the yard, its long tail swishing back and forth.

I clenched my jaw and my muscles tensed, not recalling ever seeing a creature quite like this one before... For the splitest of moments, the fear that I'd been led into some sort of trap hit me like a stone on my head. Jerking, I glanced frantically to Xadus.

In response, Xadus suddenly barked out a command, making a hand gesture, and the animal's defensive posture instantly relaxed. The creature eyed its master before rumbling a raspy pur and trotting up to me.

"I apologize for that. Vas is a hunter and the house guard and not used to strangers," Xadus admitted with an embarrassed expression.

I swallowed, feeling significantly less uneasy but more stuipid than before. A trap? Really? I was such an idiot.

"It's alright. She's nothing I couldn't handle in the worst of circumstances anyway," I assured confidently, hoping he didn't think I was _that_ easily rattled.

The reptile looked significantly less threatening after being called off, despite its massive size and the great orange fan running the length of its body.

Xadus bent down slightly to give the animal's head an affectionate rub, and Vas leaned in to the touch briefly with all the tameness of an over grown house pet.

After a moment, the zabrack motioned to the few pieces of seating in the courtyard.

"Would you like anything to drink or eat?" Xadus asked.

"I could eat something," I replied. I hadn't eaten since that morning and my stomach was beginning to protest.

Xadus nodded, turning to go in the home via one of the few doors. Vas, meanwhile, deposited herself next to the chair that I was in, laying down quietly, but looking up at me with big eyes.

I was only slightly discomforted by the large reptile, but that was natural, considering I was not familiar with the keeping of any pets. We were not allowed to keep creatures inside of the temple. Our home was considered holy to the Twin Gods, and not to be defiled. Besides, guard animals were not needed to protect the temple, for our Nightsister magiks were power enough for that.

It wasn't too long before Xadus returned with two bowls of soup, a sort of bread, and drinks.

"Are the foods here as bitter as your drinks?" I inquired curiously after Xadus returned.

Xadus chuckled softly and shook his head. "No, they are not. I think you may have merely been unlucky with what drink was given to you. But maybe I am wrong."

"Apparently the bar tender took me for a tougher girl than I am," I commented with a snort.

"Perhaps," Xadus responded with another laugh, smiling just a bit.

The soup didn't look bad at all, and when I took my first sip, I was pleasantly surprised with its taste. After determining it was safe, I proceeded to ingest the bowl's content more quickly.

I truly was hungry.

"Thank you," I said after a few sips. "It's very good."

Xadus took his seat after setting down the food and drinks, and started to eat as well. He took a couple of bites before speaking. "I'm glad you like it."

When I wasn't being distracted by my supper, I took my time in better analyzing the zabrak who was to be my life partner. The more I watched him, the more I came to realize that it wasn't just the handsomeness of his features I enjoyed, but also his manner. He spoke with a gentle, yet deep voice, and he moved in such a different way than my Sisters. Instead of cool, calculated, stiff actions, his were easy, smooth and relaxed. More casual, and less formal. Each of his movements indicated the deep familiarity that he had with the power of his muscles, and hinted at the experience he had in just how to use them.

Realizing with mortification that I might have stared too long, my eyes darted back down to my bowl. Luckily, he didn't appear to notice.

"So you are the son of someone important I take it?" I asked, hoping to learn a bit more about him.

We were supposed to leave the following morning for the temple together. It only made sense that I should want to be at least _somewhat_ aquatinted with him before the necessities of our pairing came too soon upon us.

Hopefully we would have enough time during our journey to get to know one another, but there was no harm in starting the process sooner rather than later.

Xadus nodded.

"My father is Viscus' right hand man. He's in charge of a lot of things, and they get along fairly well. Needless to say, the same cannot be said of Viscus' son and I."

"His son?" I asked curiously.

"Sivas, you broke his knee when you had the three of us fight you," Xadus explained.

I nearly choked on my soup. I'd broken his knee?

"Oh."

Guilt gnawed at my consciousness.

"Perhaps I should apologize for that," I mused. "I might have gotten a bit carried away, but I was so excited to have a new challenge at last. Fighting the same sisters gets boring," I expressed, looking up at Xadus in a plea for sympathy.

"You proved the impressive warrior yourself, for not having the enchantments upon you that I have," I added, deciding praising him a little bit wouldn't do any harm.

Xadus snorted. "I believe if you apologized it would seem strange. If you complemented Viscus on his son's skills, it would lessen the blow to both their pride."

I noted how Xadus had distinctly avoided responding to my personal praise, and thought that curious. But I ignored it and continued.

"Your advice seems sound. I'll do that, thank you," I replied after a moment of consideration.

I then looked down and took a long warm sip of my soup. It was rather soothing, after such a long day of stress and anxious decisions. Of course, warm food did much to help someone get into a better mood.

It was several more moments before Xadus decided to switch topics.

"Now that you know that your father has left the planet, what do you intend to do?"

His question caught me slightly off guard. Not because he'd spoken, but simply because I had not thought about it yet.

"I'm... I'm not sure," I responded. "I mean... there's not much I _can_ do... that is... without breaking from my sisters... and that would be a highly dishonerable, spirit grieving thing to do."

For indeed, if I went against Mother Talzin's direct orders after so long of having to prove myself to the cult, what would have been the meaning of my life up to this point?

I would be despised and probably spat on by my sister clan just as my father was now hated by his...


	11. Chapter 11

_And here I have another chapter for you faithful readers!_

_This chapter is in Xadus's POV! :D_

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Eleven

...

Souza was anxious. I could see it upon her face. This whole conversation had gotten her rattled, and in all honesty, it had done the same for me. I'd not spoken this way even with my own father. Sure, we'd admitted our own discrepncies about our narrow-minded and unjust culture, but never once had we uttered a word about intending to escape it. I swallowed another spoon full of my soup, uncertain about the whole thing, much less unable to process what I was thinking and feeling about it.

But this I did know.

Souza was my mate. If she left... well, I had to follow. But... did I _want_ to follow? Did I truly want to leave behind everything I knew? I just wasn't sure. A part of me said yes. Th other part was scared. Too scared to want to dwell on it anymore.

Souza was frowning, deep in her own thoughts. I studied her subtly over my soup and took in her lovely features with reverie. Her entrancing green eyes enchanted me and the gentle dip of her brows formed a slight crinkle on her forehead. Her lips were large and plump as she pursed them together and her pale skin appeared so light and soft. It wasn't hard to appreciate the beauty befor me.

"Before I left to come here, my mother had a vision," Souza spoke suddenly. I blinked, listening intently.

"A vision about me. She said that I was going to find great happiness and love. She said that I was going to find my identity and that I would finally feel at home," she finished shakily.

"But I'm not so sure... I'm not sure if the Nightsister life is for me... I'm not-"

She bit her lip and cursed herself quietly.

"You should not feel uncertain or afraid to speak your mind within these walls," I spoke softly.

Souza slowly looked back up to me. "I shouldn't be speaking them at all. I don't know what I'm saying. Perhaps I'm just exhausted from my journey and the... stress... of it all," she mused darkly, frowning at her soup.

"I know what you are saying... and I think it's true..." I murmured.

I was afraid. I was afraid that Souza would rebuke me. I was afraid of what would happen should she decide I had gone too far. But I had to _hope_.

Souza's brooding expression vanished and she suddenly looked up at me with a new brightness.

"Alright. We can't speak of this to _anybody_ else," she said, her tone firm.

"Within these walls, the only ones to hear are ourselves, and Vas, and perhaps my father. But I have spoken to him of these matters. He wouldn't betray either of us," I responded quickly.

"Your father... feels the same?" Souza asked, gaping.

"My father agrees. But he believes that too many are entrenched in the current ways. Any such movement would be a futile effort. So he quietly submits," I explained tentatively.

Souza nodded.

"Well... I just need time to think. I'm still trying to feel all of this out..." she whispered softly, staring back down at her soup."One thing I will say though... is that I'm thankful you are like minded to me. The chances of that... well... it's a miracle," she admitted in a quiet breath.

The same relief entered into my soul, and I realized in that moment just how lucky with both really were.

"The Twin Gods must be looking out for us," I agreed with a small smile.

Souza glanced back up at me with eyes alight with hope.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad... Maybe this was what I really needed? What we _both _really needed?

A warmth that, honestly, I'd _never_ expected to find before, filled into my chest and I was pleasantly surprised. Here I had always dreaded the problem of being chosen as a mate. And yet now, I was ok with it. Better than ok, really. I might be... satisfied...

"Would you like more soup?" I asked, noting how she was almost finished with her bowl.

"I would," Souza answered, holding her almost empty bowl out to me.

I took her bowl and left for the entrance to my home to gather more food from the kitchen. I wasn't gone long, and soon returned.

Souza nodded thankfully to her fresh bowl of soup and blew on it gently. The steam wafted up, the smell of it saturating the atmosphere. I sat down once more and leaned down to scratch Vas's neck where she lay by our feet.

"How was it growing up with a father and without a mother?" Souza inquired curiously. The question came as a bit of a surprise, but I was inwardly pleased she wanted to talk about it. I had nothing but wonderful things to say about my father.

"My father Neprad was much more caring than my mother. I lived in the Nightsister village for the first few years of my life... I was a slave, even as a small child." There was a note of bitterness in my voice as I said it, unable to keep it down despite the circumstances. Some wounds from my past were nestled far too deep to ignore or forget.

"I see," Souza replied, glancing awkwardly down. It occured to me that I might have made her uncomfortable.

I sighed softly, calming, and took another bite of soup.

"Well... my tribe... well... we don't do that," Souza stated. "Keep slaves I mean. The only time I'd ever seen a male was when a baby boy was born, and even they were kept secluded from the rest of us sisters," she explained.

"I know not all clans have the same ideals, but I know the general ideal of the Nightsisters is that the males serve the females. And we do as we are told. It may not be the same, but it may as well be," I answered, tone much more soft, reserved, and perhaps a bit sad this time. I wasn't trying to pick a fight, but I desperately wanted to express myself. It'd been safe for me to do so, so far.

"I suppose so..." Souza answered carefully. "I'll admit, our teachings led me to believe that males were not capable of much thought at all... and that your gender is much more inclined to rip someone apart than speak to them."

Her statement frustrated me, but I knew she was not to blame for believing what she was taught about a people which she'd never met personally.

"We may be violent, but for the most part we have fairly decent cognitive abilities," I responded.

"As was proven to me by you today," Souza replied with a small gesture.

I snorted and responded with a small smile.

"And what of your thoughts concerning my kind? Are your opinions limited to the cruelness you were subjected to as a child?" Souza asked.

Oh boy. How to put this...

"I honestly believed that your kind was all strict, uncaring, and harsh. I did not know if a single kind soul existed... perhaps I was a bit narrow-minded, but... it was what I believed," I answered truthfully.

"I'm sure my fellow sisters would prefer that you and all the others of your tribes go on continuing to believe that," Souza answered thoughtfully."So maybe you and I can just keep our own discoveries a secret?" she proposed.

"So then the greatest majority are true to my perceptions..." I sighed. "But of course, I will keep this between us."

"It depends greatly on your definition of kindness..." Souza returned. "My mother is very good to me, even though I've always been despised by the others. I'm not... well... " she sighed heavily.

I waited, wondering what she was trying to say.

"I'm not... spiritually sensitive..." she almost croaked out, ducking her head as if she'd just uttered the very worst of crimes."Mother Talzin expected greatness from me, due to the amazing skills of my mother... and well... then I was born. And I was nothing like her expectations...

"Needless to say... I've been... _tolerated_ amidst my clan. I've known very little kindness, outside of the encouragement from my mother."

It took me a moment before I could grasp the full understanding of what she meant. Nightsisters revolved around their witchcrafts and magiks. I could only imagine that those who were born without the spiritual capacity to manipulate their beloved enchantments and spells were considered a disgrace.

"Oh. I'm sorry... In the world we live in, that could not have been easy, ever..."

I wasn't sure what to say other than that...

Souza looked at me sadly and I felt the pain from her whole life in that one gaze.

"Yes... well... If I had been everything Mother Talzin wanted... I'm sure kindness would not be such a stranger to me," she concluded, taking a drink from her water cup.

Unsure of how to comfort her, I took a deep breath, knowing only that I didn't want her feeling so bad. "If it is any condolence, I am no stranger to being a disappointment, either..." I admitted, at last.

There had been many a time in my childhood that others had looked at my small frame and scoffed. Other children, bigger and far stronger than I, had done nothing but make sport of my thin frame and my sensitve spirit. But my father had believed in me, and sure enough, a few years later I hit my growth spurt, and became one of the most capable Zabrack younglings in the village.

However, despite my currently well respected reputation, I could never quite forget the spurns and the vicious discouragements from those who had bullied me in my younger days. I often wondered if I would ever be free of the ringing of their cruel words within the recesses of my memory.

"Hmmm." Souza hummed, looking at me intently. "Well, that is some comfort," she replied. "But I shall do my very best to show kindness towards you, if I can. I've not had much good practice, but I don't want things fouled up between us."

Her statement warmed my soul and I smiled kindly.

"I do appreciate that. I know for sure that you will always experience care and kindness from me. My father has taught me much."

Souza's eyes brightened with interest. "Has he?"

I nodded quickly. "My father has always supported me, even as I rose or fell to the occasion. He's been patient as I grew up, and always the source of wisdom and comfort and encouragement. I couldn't ask for a better role-model."

"He sounds like a very _good_ human being," she commented. I continued smiling, feeling a new excitement bubbling up within me for this relationship that was being formed.

"What was your father's experience with being mated? Is the Nightsister- well- your mother- did they ever love?" Souza asked unexpectedly.

The question caught me off guard, but I recovered quickly.

"My father did the best he could. He loved my mother. But she didn't return the feeling. She was interested in his strength. She was impressed by his intelligence. But she was drawn in by his physique. She thought they would make a good child together," I explained.

Souza lowered her head slightly.

Clearing my throat, I soldiered on. These were facts that she needed to face and answer to. I needed to know where she stood, and how her opinions paralelled with my own. I would never be able to respect her as my equal partner if she did not want to see the wrongs that her people inflicted to mine.

"My mother expected my father to wait on her hand and foot during both pregnancies. I was the first born, and a disappointment to my mother who wanted a daughter. Shortly after I was born, my mother became pregnant again, and she had a daughter. After that, my mother dismissed my father and I."

"I take it you nor your father has seen her since?" Souza asked quietly.

I shook my head. "I haven't seen my mother or my sister since we left."

"I hate to think that my sister has become the stereo type that I dislike," I confessed with a weary sigh.

"It is likely... but it depends on her. Everyone is different, despite how singularly minded Mother Talzin wishes each of us to be," Souza replied gently.

I thought about that, then nodded slowly. "I suppose there is a chance that she is not like our mother..."

"Your spirit sensitivity fascinates me. Do you suppose we can do a few more tests tonight?" Souza asked, changing the subject unexpectedly.

The switch of topic took me by surprise, but I was glad for the change. I nodded quickly. "Definitely."

Souza smiled slightly in excitement. She finished her soup and stood once she was finished, taking her bowl with her and heading for the house to find a place to put it. Quickly I followed her, having already finished my own dinner.

Once in the kitchen, Souza looked over her shoulder at me for guidence. I gestured to where she could set her bowl down, and then stepped up to the sink to begin washing. Souza lingered beside me, leaning against the kitchen counter and my mind went alert the moment I sensed her gaze fasten intently upon me. Just knowing that she was watching me disrupted my concentration on my task, but I pretended not to notice her.

If I had to guess, it seemed that she was feeling awkward, being alone with me in my home for the first time. This was a strange place to her, after all. I only hoped that it was within me to make her feel at home.

Not just in a house- but with _me_...

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_Sorry, this was another conversation chapter, but I hope it wasn't too boring for you guys! I'm just warning you all now though- it will be a little while before some more action takes place! _

_Souza and Xadus need time to get to know one another after all! XD_


	12. Chapter 12

_Wow, thank you for all your reviews guys! _

_To those of you who think I'm about to rush Souza or Xadus's relationship- do NOT fear. I got this ;) _

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter Twelve

...

Being alone with Xadus, and so close to him within his own home had indeed caused my pulse to thunder higher. Just watching him wash our bowls in the sink made my nerves jittery. I was so not ready for this. I was not ready for a mate. I didn't now the first thing to do with a male!

After a highly awkward moment, I turned my gaze away and stepped out of the kitchen to look at his home.

I was quietly looking about the living space, noting the comfortable chairs and the small items placed about the room when Xadus finished washing and came out to watch me.

"It's a good home," Xadus commented as I walked around the living space.

I had to agree. It was definitely homier in these huts... much less strict and refined, unlike the Nightsister temples.

"I like it," I replied.

In fact, I wished I could stay for a few more days, and experience the more _male_ way of life before returning to my dark den of sisters.

"Would you prefer to stay here for the night, or to go back to the inn?" Xadus asked suddenly. I froze.

"I mean, there's still the spirit sensitivity... tests..." Xadus added. "But still."

"Stay... here? Umm... where... exactly?" I inquired, now turning to look at Xadus a bit uncertainly. How soon did this zabrak believe he needed to begin with his...um...mating duties?

Or perhaps he didn't mean it like that? Oh, how I wished I was able to read him better!

"We have a guest room," Xadus answered. Of course he did... Again, I berated myself for being too jumpy.

"Oh," I blinked and glanced down the hall. "May I see it?"

"Of course," Xadus responded, turning to guide me back to the open courtyard and across to another room.

It wasn't huge but it wasn't cramped, either, with a few modest but homely touches.

I decided I liked it better than my inn room and smiled.

"I would like to stay here," I informed at length, after taking in the atmosphere of the place. It seemed clean and well taken care of. Of course, I would now have to go back for my belongings and such...

Xadus nodded, smiling just a bit. "Would you like us to get your things now, or after the tests?"

"Might as well go for them now. That way we can run the tests as long as we like," I answered, stepping out of the room to go. The Zabrak merely nodded, moving to follow me.

The lights of Dathomir were now slowly sinking down over the distant mountains and the sky was darkening. Xadus and I arrived at the inn/bar just as its most popular hour had begun. A lot of the native males were within the pub drinking, laughing, some even fighting amidst the loud noise and chaos.

My brows rose in absolute shock, never having seen such a display of free behavior before, and subconsciously I took a step closer into Xadus. Was this normal? It certainly was far different seeing the males when they were carefree- versus how straight and at attention they'd been earlier in the day. It made them more... wild... more unpredictable and I didn't like it one bit.

Several males were intoxicated at the bar as it was and some who were still coherent spotted me as I entered and wolf whistled or leered openly towards me with seedy grins. I frowned, very much disliking the lewdness being shown towards me.

It was then that Xadus carefully moved himself between me and the watching eyes, shielding me from most of the more drunk zabraks.

"Is this a common occurence?" I questioned Xadus with much disturbance in my expression and tone.

"Rather," Xadus explained with a grimace. "It is likely the reason most Nightsisters make the claims you have heard."

"I see..." I swallowed.

After a moment we were across the room and I stepped forward, deciding to be brave regardless of the fiasco going on, and step through the crowded hall in order to reach the inn room doors in the back.

Xadus followed attentively and once I found my room, I quickly put my things in order and swung my bags over my shoulder. But as I headed back for the door, Xadus hesistated.

"It would look less inconspicuous if I were to carry them. Plus, I would like to be polite, and caring," Xadus explained, holding his hands out for the bags.

I regarded Xadus's request and for the first time felt a strange warmth in my heart. It was a touching offer, and a considerate one.

With a small smile I slid the bags off my shoulder and held them over to him.

"Thank you."

He nodded, accepting the bags easily with a smile. "You are welcome."

As Xadus took my bags and slung them easily over his shoulder I couldn't help but feel an inward sense of appreciation for him.

If he was always going to be so polite and obliging towards me, I figured I would get used to him _very_ fast. We stepped out back into the hall way and once again my nostrils were offended by the mixture of potent scents hanging about the stuffy pub.

The loudness crashed back upon my ears and I couldn't help but frown in displeasure at the unrestrained behavior of the zabraks blustering about the tables and drinking themselves unconscious. I allowed Xadus to take point, and followed along behind him.

We had made it almost all the way through the thickest part of the crowd when one of the zabraks sitting at the bar turned and set a friendly hand upon Xadus's shoulder.

"Xadus!" he greeted, clearly slightly intoxicated by the daze in his eyes and the lazy smile.

"Come stay awhile! Drink with us!" he invited.

I pursed my lips and cocked my brow at the unsavory display of the male at the counter. His friends had now turned their attention upon Xadus as well.

"Sorry, I can't tonight," Xadus explained brief, his expression turning slightly apologetic.

"Awww, what gives? Why me and my friends just bought another round and I-..." the drunk male stopped jabbering the moment he locked his eyes upon me and realization seeped into his haggard features.

"Ohhhhh!" The male grinned, now waggling his eyes at Xadus suggestively. My chest seized in anger and offense.

"Well I see now! Well don't let me distract ya!" the male chuckled wickedly.

"Veran," Xadus warned, with a brisk rebuke to his tone.

The male had just released his hand from Xadus' shoulder before reapplying it suddenly. "Hey, you best get home right away with that one. And get what fun you can out of her, cuz one day, you'll find out she don't need you no more and kick you out like the beasts they think we are," Veran continued his rambling.

I frowned furiously and clenched my jaw. Now that was unfair!

Perhaps the sisters of the past saw things that way... but that didn't mean all of us were unfeeling witches! Part of me felt like lashing out at the zabrak named Veran, but the other part reasoned that acting angry at his cruel comments would only prove his point.

"Yeah, you mark my words. Enjoy her now, alllll you can boy..." Veran sniggered, the rest of the zabraks now joining in with their own bubbly chuckles.

Xadus laughed, a bit dryly.

"I suppose you have a point, there, friend. I'll take your advice. Nice talking with you."

Xadus's flippant reply surprised and slightly angered me, though I couldn't quite process why.

I knew for a fact Xadus disliked things the way I did, but why did he have to pretend he didn't feel any different? In the next instant, Xadus motioned me after him in a brief gesture.

I wanted to speak out but I shut my mouth, my jaw still grittily clenched and walked after him. Xadus hurriedly lead the way out of the establishment and into the slightly-chilly evening.

Once we were free of the stuffy pub atmosphere and into the fresh night air, I let out a deep, angry sigh. But I refrained from speaking and continued to trail after Xadus, since he seemed determined to keep walking all the way for his home. His stride was long and smooth, and I found it only slightly difficult to keep pace with him.

...

Once we were back inside Xadus's home I no longer could contain myself.

"Is that what _all_ of you males think of us?" I blurted. "That we'll just serve as your temporary love toys because it's not going to last anyway?" I questioned, stalking back and forth in the room with furious energy.

Xadus faced me, blinking at my sudden exclamation.

"I... I..." he stammered for several seconds, uncertain, and quite taken aback by my sudden fury.

"That we are not capable of really feeling anything for those around us?" I continued on.

My frustrations, even as intense as they were, I was careful to not directly aim at Xadus. This wasn't necessarily _his_ fault, after all, but I was still appalled with the contrast of culture and the lack of respect I seemed to sense in these males towards my sisters.

Even if I didn't share in most of my sister's cold dedication to the Twin Gods, and to the perusal of witch-crafts and spells, or their world views... they were still my family. They were the only home I'd ever known and my heart longed to defend them.

Just then, Xadus frowned, mirroring my own frustration.

"For the most part, that has been the majority of the experiences of the males here that have had mates," he responded, his tone firm and hard. "There is no love imparted from the Nightsisters. Because of this, a large portion of these adults have the belief that it is a waste to expect the return of any love, and one should simply get what they can while their mate bothers to pay limited attention to them. Obviously, not everyone feels this way, but the majority do. You have to admit, with the way my people have been treated... you couldn't have expected anything less."

His words cut me.

"Well I-" I caught myself quickly in my retort, realizing that there was no use in denying his sound logic. He was right. "I don't know _what_ I expected," I confessed, now sinking down into the nearest couch and putting my hands over my face.

"All I was ever taught concerning males was that they were expected to treat us with loyal, dedicated service," I murmured.

"That we were supposed to be loyal slaves," Xadus replied, his tone far more soft but harboring some bitterness.

"_I_ don't want a slave," I responded quickly. "I don't even want a servant..." I stated.

Xadus nodded slowly.

"I understand that... but I think your opinion is vastly in the minority."

I sighed deeply, my shoulders slumping. I felt awful and I couldn't quite figure why. All I knew was that I was experiencing a bit of remorse... But it didn't make sense! I hadn't done anything wrong!

Perhaps I just did not like the idea of being associated with a cult so cold hearted.

That was when it hit me. I was ashamed. I was ashamed of my family!

The realization struck me hard and I gasped quietly, putting a hand over my mouth. A fresh sensation of guilt broke over me. I was not supposed to be ashamed of my people!

I was supposed to revere them...

...

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_And that's all I got for this update! Hope you enjoyed reading it and of course, I look forward to your reviews!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey readers! Sorry for the delay in updating! However, this chapter is nice and long for you, so I hope it meets your expectations! _

_This is, once again, Souza's POV! _

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter: 13

...

It was all becoming devestatingly clear to me...

Somewhere deep inside me, I had slowly grown more and more dissatisfied with my home and what was required of me. I wanted more out of life than what the temple gave, and coming here to this Nightbrother village was only expounding on those emotions.

How could I ever go back to the temple after this?

My face contorted with sadness and despair at my predicament.

It wasn't as if I could just escape the cult and live in the jungle... much less manage a way to get off world! None of this was fair.

I _had_ to go back. And I dreaded it.

Finally, my brain seemed to recall that I was not alone in the room and my eyes flickered back over to Xadus.

I held his gaze for a long moment, not knowing what to say but feeling like each of my clashing emotions was pouring out from my soul. He had been watcing me closely, simply waiting.

When I realized that there was nothing I could do, and I sure as heck wasn't going to cry, I stood up from my chair, willing myself to suck it up.

I crossed the room towards him and lifted a hand to slide one of my bags off his shoulder.

He abruptly and awkwardly let them go, lowering them for me.

"I'm going to unpack and change," I told him quietly as I picked them up. "Be back out in a bit."

I then took both of the bags and crossed the home towards the guest room.

I knew Xadus was watching me as I left, perhaps wishing that I had shared just what exactly was going through my mind, but I couldn't articulate that myself. There was no point in babbling to him any further about emotions which I couldn't even sort through.

Once inside the room I closed the door all the way and plopped the bags on the bed. Sighing down at them, I began to unpack my few belongings.

It didn't take me five minutes, and changing took even less time. My travel garbs from the day had begun to smell and so I slipped out of all my leg wrappings and braces, and put on a fresh, light shirt that didn't quite cover my belly and changed my under shorts. Only once I felt clean and I believed to have put my emotions back into their bottle, I stepped out from the room.

I wasn't going to blow up at Xadus like that again, that was for sure, but I wasn't certain what I needed to say so that he knew I wasn't upset with him... Walking back into the main section of the house, I glanced about but did not see Xadus. I strode over to a window to see if he had stepped outside into the court yard but did not spot him.

Fear gripped me. Had he left just to get away from me? Did he think I was just as much of a cold hearted person as the whole town believed every nightsister to be?

Then, suddenly, I heard footsteps and I turned rapidly to find an older male Zabrak had stepped out of the section of the home that was the kitchen. He was pale-skinned, with a mixture of black and bright green tattoos and when he spotted me, his look of surprise changed to one of gentle pleasantness, slightly reserved for politeness.

I swallowed upon noting him, quickly assessing that this must have been Xadus's father, Neprad.

"Sister," he greeted with a respectful nod. He'd been at Brother Viscus's side most of the day, but I hadn't heard him speak until now.

"Hello," I greeted uncertainly. "Your son made the invitation for me to stay the night in your guest quarters," I informed, feeling the need to explain myself. "If this is an inconvenience I can go back to the inn," I suggested readily.

Neprad shook his head with an agreeable look. "Of course you are welcome in our home. I hope everything is to your liking?"

I thought carefully about how I could respond in such a way that would communicate that I was not like the _other_ sisters he'd encountered...

"It is fit for you and for Xadus, so it is fit for me," I answered after a moment. "In fact, I like it very much," I added.

Surprise lit Neprad's eyes, before he smiled in response, nodding his head. "I am glad you approve."

An awkward moment of silence passed before I spoke again.

"It seems I've misplaced your son..." I commented. "I was hoping to be able to do a few more tests with him... " I expressed. "His strength in the spiritual realm is quite impressive."

"I believe I heard him go to his room. If you would follow me, I can take you there," Neprad offered with a gesture, still with that kindly smile on his face.

I stepped forward obligingly. "Thank you."

"Of course." The pale-skinned Zabrak lead me down another hall, which only had a few doors along one side, the other had large open windows without glass into the courtyard. "What sort of tests, if I may ask, will you try?" He asked curiously.

"I would like to see if Xadus is gifted in receiving visions once he enters meditation," I answered truthfully. "I myself do not possess this ability... but my mother does. I am familiar with it, and am curious to see just how capable your son is."

I refrained from using the words 'my mate' simply because they would taste strange as they left my mouth. Besides, my head was not quite there yet, and despite all the events of that day, I did not feel right in calling a near stranger '_mine_'.

"I expect you will find he is quite talented. I have been training him in all matters, both physical and spiritual, since he could begin," Neprad explained, now coming up to the last door and knocking.

"You have? You mean... you knew how to expound his gifts?" I asked, astonished but pleased. This went far beyond anything I had expected a male having knowledge of, much less being capable of doing!

"I am somewhat sensitive, myself, but not nearly as strong as his mother. I have always done everything I could to expand his abilities," the Zabrak explained.

After a moment, Xadus opened his door. When he did, I looked up softly to meet Xadus's gaze with my own.

I did not smile, as it wouldn't have felt right... _yet_, but I did glance to his father one last time to say, "I thank you again. The test won't take long. If your words are true there is little I need experiment with anyway. Besides, I'm sure Xadus is tired.. after the long day he has had. I would not like to keep him awake longer than absolutely necessary."

"I'm fine with going as long as is necessary," Xadus commented from the doorway, his expression neutral and hard for me to read. Perhaps he was just being cautious of my mood?

I lowered my gaze and waited to be admitted into Xadus's room. Unless of course, he did not want me in his room. In which case, I would by no means blame him. I wouldn't easily let a complete stranger into my most intimate abode either.

But he stepped to the side, giving me room to pass him, and I gracefully swept past him and inside. With my back to him, I quickly surveyed the quaint, comfortable room. Battle weapons hung upon the wall, along with many trappings and hunting gear. There were some furry animal skins layed on the floor and the bed had multiple layers of finely woven blankets.

"Good night," Neprad said, turning away to head down the hall. Xadus closed the door with a soft, "G'night," in response.

After Xadus had closed the door, I took a deep breath and turned to face him. I knew exactly what I was going to say. I just hoped that he understood me well.

"Hearing the truth stings like being bit by a shear mite sometimes," I remarked softly, my gaze slightly apologetic.

"Consider myself stung..." I whispered, with a small shrug.

"Stung... but not injured," I added carefully.

Xadus blinked, unable to hide his surprise. This gave me encouragement, so I went on quickly before I lost my courage in the moment. It was very hard to admit when I was in the wrong. It wasn't something I made a practice of...

"Your words were true... but being that... the Nightsisters are the only thing I know... it was hard to stomach. However, I refuse to let it bother me any longer," I ellaborated. "My only hope is that I can better your expectations on what my people are capable, and indeed prove myself a worthy mate," I confessed.

Slowly, Xadus nodded.

"Thank you for your assurance. I... understand it could not be an easy thing for you to admit, but I want you to know just how thankful I am to you. It is a great reassurance to know that you are so much greater than the stereotype I feared."

At his words, I somberly looked away and off to the side of him, smiling dryly to myself. "I'm not certain I am _great_ at all... " I admitted. "But the Gods know I've been trying my whole life to be so..." I added with a sigh. And wasn't that the truth? My whole wearisome life I'd been working to achieve some sens of greatness; the greatness Mother Talzin wanted of me.

"I think you deserve to put more faith in yourself," Xadus commented.

I considered that statement and returned my gaze to his. "Well... we'll see," I replied with a small shrug. I then looked to the floor's rug and sat down in a meditation stance.

"Come down here with me would you? Let's try to meditate together," I suggested lightly. A change of subject was in order, and truly, I wanted this meditation exercise to be over with. The Twin Gods knew I could barely concentrate on meditating in the temple without any distractions, and I would be lucky if I could manage it here and now, amidst this new exciting place.

Xadus sat down across from me, folding his legs and resting his hands on his thighs.

The creaturecalled Vas jumped up onto Xadus's bed, the frame protesting with a groan, and lay down to watch us.

I took a deep breath, assuming position and closed my eyes, lifting my chin slightly.

I'd never been good at meditating. I'd always found it too boring, but for the sake of making Xadus feel less awkward, I was doing it with him.

"If you see or hear anything while in your meditation, you can reach out and squeeze my hand," I instructed. "Don't break the meditation, just let me know you're getting something," I said.

"Sure," Xadus answered.

With that, I settled into my meditation, trying to silence my mind of all troubles, all thoughts and concerns. It was something I'd always found mildly difficult to do- but now, just as I feared it would be, I found concentrating nearly impossible.

The issues of the present crushed down upon me like a merciless tidal wave and for the life of me I could not focus on quieting my thoughts, or being still. As my frustration grew, my jaw began to clench, but I fought on. I did my very best to keep my breathing quiet, slow, and even.

Ten minutes passed, and little had been achieved in my pointless efforts. I was about to give up altogether when a sudden peace enveloped me.

I knew right away that it was not my own, for there had been no way I could have developed it of my own power. Relieved, I let it wash over me But where was it coming from? Curious, I concentrated on it to determine its source.

Then, whether it was by pure common sense, or I'd touched on something beyond me, I realized that it was indeed Xadus who was the source of my sudden calm!

Somehow, he was basking me within his own peaceful presense, and I knew in that moment that he was far more in tune than I would _ever_ be. At this fact, envy swept over me, seeping into my very bones.

"Relax," he said softly, breaking the silence.

"I did mention I was horrible at this, didn't I?" I grumbled.

I heard Xadus take another breath, more soft this time, and before I knew what was happening, another cloud of calm encompassed me. All previous tension left my body.

For several minutes, my mind drifted in it, content and happy with the sensation that I had never before experienced in all my years of practice.

Then... a bit shyly, I began trying to extend my senses, poking experimentally at the invisible spirit world around me in order to test and see what I could find.

Quite suddenly, it was as if a curtain had slowly opened to me, and I was stepping through it into a new level of the supernatural.

My first landmark was sensing that of Xadus.

I saw him in my head, almost as a pillar. A strong pillar that stood alone and confident... His presence was almost awe inspiring, and in a sense, I felt lucky to just stand beneath his shadow.

But it was not a cold shadow, it was warm and welcoming. It was safe.

So deep was the sensation of that safety that I exhaled a sigh of release through my lips.

I realized, to my own joy, that getting to experience Xadus this way gave me a far better sense of the kind of person he truly was.

It was shortly after I understood this amazing revelation that I panicked.

If I could sense Xadus in this way, that meant he was just as easily sensing, and seeing me! Dread pierced my soul like a poisonous dart, starting in my chest and spreading rapidly.

I wasn't ready! I- what would he _think_ of me? What horrible traits would be revealed to him of my character? Surely he would discover the truths of myself that could only cause him to look down at me with disgust!

Then, in my minds eye, I saw a large hand reaching out for me, but I shrank back, afraid of what it would grab on to and discover about myself.

Quite unexpectedly, a set of emotions stemming from Xadus's encompassing peace began to swirl at the fringe of my mind.

All of these emotions were comforting, reassuring, and once again, that feeling of warm safety.

With great dejection, I relented, knowing he'd most likely seen every defect and weakness within me by now, and surrendered my openness to him. There would be nothing I could hide about myself, and nothing I could prove different after this was over... after Xadus had seen the true me... But I wanted it that way.

If he was to know and enjoy me at all, it would be because I was who I was. If he were to hate me for who I was, so be it. That didn't change the fact that he had to give me a child. He'd have to reconcile with that fact on his own.

"Stop worrying so much," Xadus rebuked lightly, as if he'd been listening in on my very thought process.

I jerked back slightly.

"I've never done this before," I murmured. "Even after all my years of training with the great Mother, I've not been able to experience others in this way," I defended. I winced afterwards, acknowledging to myself that my tone had sounded more like a pitiful whine.

"I understand," Xadus answered softly. "But you don't have to worry about me judging you so harshly for what I see. For what you are. I was much like you not long ago."

At his statement, I could not help but open my eyes to look at him in wonder. He had to be joking.

"You are teasing me," I snorted in disbelief.

He opened his eyes too. "I am not," he countered.

"The chances of you having been like I am now, are a million to one," I reasoned.

Xadus nodded. "Not in the way you are thinking. Personality-wise."

I stared at him quizzically for a moment, biting the edge of my lip and trying to decide what I was going to say next. "So what are you saying? Are you saying you aren't bothered by how undeveloped and pitiful I really am?

"Not even the slightest bit? You be honest with me now," I demanded firmly.

Xadus sighed, but his eyes were looking at me patiently.

"I see an incredible amount of potential. I see a lack of self-confidence that would boost you so much further than what you think you can do or than you think you are worth. You need to trust yourself, and I think that will happen when someone starts believing in you. _I_ believe in you."

At the frankness of his words and the soft, genuineness of his tone, I blushed profusely. He was right, of course. I did struggle very painfully with insecurities...

But that he was willing to _believe_ in me?

I could not keep his gaze due to my own discomfort on the personal topic and I instead glanced down to my own hands, which I had now folded in between my legs.

"Well... you'd be the first," I whispered.

"You need to believe in yourself. You need to believe in your worth. You are not weak," Xadus stated firmly, surprising me further with how passionate he sounded. I stared back up at Xadus with wide eyes.

That was probably the first time anyone had ever told me that...


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey readers! Just thought I'd pop in with another chapter for ya ;D_

_This is is the first chapter which has both character's POV so watch out for the switch! (this will be the first of many chapters like this) _

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter: 14

...

"H-how.."

Souza's voice was weak and slightly shaky with unkempt emotions that were now overtaking her. I could feel them permeating the room around us, despite her clear struggle to contain them.

"How do you know that...?" she managed at last, her voice trembling.

"You connected on a whole new level with me," I reasoned calmly. "You've never done that before, I could tell. The fact that you didn't think you could, and yet you did, proves there is so much more that you can do, if you just believe in yourself," I explained.

I was not accustomed to the strange sense of duty I felt within me towards this young nightsister, nor could I put to words why I felt the need to comfort and uplift her. But as much as these new feelings were taking me by surprise, I was certain to maintain a casual air about it.

I would _not_ loose my heart to this sister. Not when I barely knew her, and not when there was still plenty of time for her to back out on the promises whispered between us. I wasn't going to play the foolish, love struck mate, only to realize that my partner had been playing with my emotions the whole time.

As much as I wanted to believe she was everything she said, there was still much to be proven. Words were only words after all. It was actions that were most important, and it would be her actions that would convince me of her trustworthy character.

Until then, I made vow to remain guarded. Hopeful, but guarded.

"Plus," I added as a nonchalant afterthought, "I can feel in the spirit that you have more potential than you know how to tap."

I watched as she blinked back tears and looked away from me, appearing as if she wished to disappear from my sight. Had I embarrassed her? That was certainly _not_ my intention.

"Mother Talzin has always told me I'm a hopeless case," Souza spoke up once more. "She did everything she could to draw out my power... and nothing worked," she said softly.

I listened intently, already disliking this Mother Talzin and wondering what a Nightsister's idea of true power was...

"And here I am," Souza continued, "thinking I'm just testing your potential, and you've helped me more than all my years of training put together," she whispered, a single tear escaping to trickle down her cheek. Part of me longed to reach out and wipe it away. Again I mentally rebuked myself, instead focusing on how to reply. At last I said,

"Nightsisters have a tendency to focus merely on the mysteries of their magiks. My father and I work on using our potential to not imbue with powers but to sense the powers around us."

"That sounds an awful lot like what the jedi do," Souza commented.

I shrugged awkwardly, not knowing lot about the jedi beyond wha history books could tell.

"I never could get the whole magiks thing. Just couldn't understand how. Then again, I never received any formal training. This was just how I found out how to tap into my... spiritual side," I explained.

Souza took a deep breath.

"Well whatever you do _works_," she said with a slight laugh. "None of that other stuff has ever done a thing for me," She admitted, lifting a hand to wipe away her tear stains.

I couldn't resist a smile, hearing the relief and joy in her tone, seeing the light in her eyes, and feeling such excitement and contentment as I doubt she had ever experienced in her life.

"Shall we continue?" I prompted.

"Yes please," she said.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes once more, feeling my heartbeat slow rapidly, and my focus broaden in ways that even I... can't quite describe.

Once again, I could feel everything, and I reached out to secure the cocoon of peace around Souza, expanding it as far as I could-which was rather far. Further than I had ever attempted before.

I saw my beloved village, I saw the great, untamed forests and the raging water falls, I saw vast valleys and thick, strangling jungles. And finally I saw the very view of the entire planet from space...

At one time, this sort of thing would have strained my greatly, but I had practiced with my father on a few occasions, and I had learned to tap into the power flowing around me, at least to some degree, to keep from becoming exhausted. I was able to remain with such a wide range of sense to allow Souza to hold onto the image of the planet we lived on.

"Sometimes I wonder what it is like, beyond our planet," I murmured. "But I can't stretch far enough..."

I queezed my eyes shut tighter, doing my best to see just how far I could stretch, when suddenly the touch of fingers across my cheek jerked me out of meditation. My eyes few open as the cocoon tore around us, snapping back to reality and I beheld Souza's eyes also wide and startled, her hand quickly retracting from me. She blushed furiously.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized quickly. "It looked so real. I felt like I was _right_ there and could reach out and touch it," she explained in mortifiction.

The abrupt rip from the trance caused me to grimace, and I felt a massive headache coming on. No doubt Souza probably figured I was grimacing about the touch, though.

"No, it's fine. Really. Not a big deal," I said hurriedly, trying to compartmentalize the pain of my headache.

She flushed even further in embarrassment, her eyes looking anywhere but at me.

"I better go," she said. "It's late, and I don't want to keep you," she said rushedly, getting to her feet.

I blinked, and I felt my forehead crease with something different than pain.

"You don't have to," I explained before she could leave. This all was so new to her. I didn't blame her for what had happened.

She glanced down at me in some hesitancy. "You're very kind, but I better," she replied.

Exhaling, I nodded and slowly lifted myself to my feet. "Alright. I'm sure you are tired from your trip, anyway."

"I must be," she agreed quietly, collecting her dread locks over to one side of her shoulder.

Inwardly I was disappointed she wanted to go. Despite the encroaching headache, I had enjoyed being able to give Souza a new experience. But it was likely she could only take so much before becoming overwhelmed. I needed to respect her boundaries and heed her words.

"Will we be leaving tomorrow? Or are you planning on waiting?" I asked, only now remembering this small thing.

She blinked.

"Oh... um... There's no rush," she answered at last.

I nodded briefly. "Alright. I'll temporarily unpack, myself, then." I wondered if she had noticed my bag packed, placed at the end of my bed.

"Feel free," she replied, nodding, then stepping around me towards my bedroom door.

"Good night," she said.

"Good night," I returned.

She swept out of the room, opening the door and vanishing behind it.

Once Souza was gone, I leaned back against the frame of my bed, tiredly. I felt Vas shift around on the bed until she placed her heavy head on my shoulder. Smiling to myself, I sat there for a while longer before shooing her off my bed and falling to sleep.

**...()()()...**

When I woke in the morning, I stretched and fixed my clothes, packing up my things one last time and stretching out on the floor in various poses to warm up my muscles.

It was a daily morning routine my mother had gotten me into, and I kept it up every day. It helped warm up my muscles and provided better over all blood circlation.

When I did finally emerge from my bedroom I walked tentatively out into the main section of the home, noting a warm pleasant smell emanating from the kitchen.

Coming around the corner I saw Xadus's father just finishing up cooking and I couldn't help but blink at the sight. I'd never seen a male cooking before and it was an interesting scene.

Cooking was a delicate- special thing to do if one wanted the tastes just right- and just the fact that these males were experienced in all these little areas constantly caught me off guard.

"Good morning," I greeted, so that he would not be alarmed by suddenly seeing me there.

Neprad turned, smiling kindly, as he had the previous evening, upon seeing me once more. "Good morning," he greeted in turn. "I hope your sleep was restful last night."

"It was, thank you," I replied pleasantly, feeling a lot less skittish and more at home... which was odd.

I glanced around curiously to see if Xadus was somewhere.

"He's in the courtyard," Neprad said, still smiling, a look of knowingness in his eyes. "If you want to head out there, I will be along shortly with breakfast."

After a moment I was able to spot Xadus was in the court yard and he was meditating. He sure did that a lot...

"Oh... it's alright. I don't want to interrupt him," I replied, instead taking a seat at the counter of the kitchen. "There's no telling what kind of fantastic vision he's having right now," I said with a soft smile. "He is truly powerful. I admire the initiative you took in training him up," I added.

Neprad snorted. "It was no easy task."

"I can only imagine," I smiled in amusement.

Neprad got out several dishes and some utensils, setting them at the table, before fetching the food pot.

"It smells wonderful," I praised, my stomach rumbling already with hunger.

"We don't often eat quite this well, but naturally good company and wonderful news such as a new addition to the family deserves a celebration," Neprad answered.

"I'm very honored..." I replied, feeling a deep sense of warmth forming in my chest. I'd not yet thought about my being with Xadus making me a part of his family. Neprad was suh a nice zabrak too. There was this easiness about him that made him very easy to talk to and suddenly, it donned on me that I had many questions. Questions in which Neprad might have very well been the most appropriate peron to ask.

I swallowed nervously, wondering if he would only shut me down, like I was accostomed to with my mother.

"If I may inquire... this is rather embarrassing... but... I need to ask someone," I said rushedly. Neprad tilted his head to the side, curious, but inviting.

I bit my lip anxiously then forged on. "Was it awkward with your new mate for the very first time?"

Neprad smiled, snorting gently before speaking. "My mate was not nearly so timid, but indeed her expediency in all things certainly made things feel awkward."

Well, he'd answered my question. That was promising!

"How long would you have wanted to wait...? To get to know your mate before.. anything intimate?" I inquired. I had every intention of wanting the advantage of knowing Xadus's comfort zones and when not to cross them.

Despite the fact that I knew Mother Talzin may very well give us orders to begin... with our business immediately... well... I would stretch what rules I could for the sake of not making anything strange happen between us.

Neprad's brow creased slightly with uncertainty and he hesitated a moment before speaking.

"I'm not sure, to be honest. There was no love between my mate and I. It was a controlling relationship. She dictated everything I did. I would want things to be.." He paused, just for a moment, and there was a sense of uncertainty before he continued "... mutually agreed upon. I think there has to be a strong sense of cordiality with one another, and things must be agreed upon."

I nodded in understanding. "Well... Xadus has already seen deeper into me than even _I_ might have wanted... and I... well... I haven't seen anything in him to dislodge my attraction towards him..." I admitted with a slight blush. "But yes, you're right. I have no intention of being a domineering partner. I don't believe it's in my nature," I admitted.

"I had a feeling, but I figured I would say so, anyway," Neprad answered with a short chuckle.

I glanced up to Neprad and smiled thankfully. "Yes well... I just hope I'm not absolutely _horrible_... when the time does come. I'd hate to make things more awkward than they already are," I sighed.

Inwardly, I couldn't help but wonder how I could be in any way appetizing to any male. Luckily, I didn't have to please just _any_ male.

I only had to worry about Xadus...

Before Neprad could answer, Xadus stepped into the home and entered the dining area.

He paused in the doorway, looking at his father and then at me. "Um, sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No," I replied quickly, struggling not to blush."Nothing at all."


	15. Chapter 15

_Hello readers! _

_There is so much of this story to come, all I can say is I hope you don't get bored of it! Also, please tell your friends and help in spreading the word about my fic if you can! It'd feel more motivated about spending so much time on this story if I had enough followers and reviewers!_

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter: 15

...

Judging by Xadus's expression, I would say he looked slightly skeptical, but he came and took his seat at the table acoss his father and next to me. I waited for the men to start eating first, and dug in only afterwards, finding the taste of the food every bit as delicious as it smelled. It was a few minutes into the meal that Xadus spoke up.

"I was wondering what time you were thinking of leaving, Souza?"

I had just taken a bite of food and considered his question while I finished chewing.

"I'm on no tight schedule," I answered at last. "We can leave whenever you want to leave," I shrugged. "Maybe you wouldn't mind showing me the town first, before we go though. It's not often I get to tour a place I'm not familiar with," I admitted.

"Of course. Once we finish with breakfast I'd be happy to show you around the town," Xadus responded agreeably.

"Great," I replied, honestly excited.

When breakfast was completed, I eagerly stepped up to start clearing away dishes. It was something I was used to doing- for even within the Nightsister clan there was order and servitude.

"Let me help," Xadus said, standing, and collecting the other dishes as well, moving to help me complete the task. I smiled as Xadus joined me in the kitchen and began washing the dishes. Clean up didnt take very long since there weren't many dishes to do, and when we completed our task and dried our hands from the water, I turned to Xadus and gestured that he lead the way.

He nodded, turning to give his father a brief goodbye, and then made for the courtyard and the exit of the pleasant home. Vas fell into pace at our heels, surprising me when it gave a reptilian purr my direction. I smiled at the creature and continued to follow Xadus out into the town.

I wanted to see anything and everything and was quite content to be led around.

The town was situated on the hillside, nestled close to the mountains, and it was a walk downhill through the streets as Xadus showed me around, heading first through the village, to show me their farming fields and well engineered watering system.

I loved all of the scenery and the vast hills around us. Half of the walk I spent staring into the distance and drinking up the sky. The sky was such a foreign thing to me, being cooped up under the thick trees and inside stone temples for the majority of my life.

However, I was quite entertained with the different agricultural feats the zabrak men had engineered for the purpose of keeping the fields healthy and their food plentiful. We had no such things in the Nightsister temples, for we ate off of the fruits of the forests, and what we did not have, on hand, we bartered for from the many zabrak villages.

To see how everything worked here and the rather ingenious ways of the males was a surprising yet satisfying revelation for me. Every minute I was discovering something new about them.

"Do you keep up the fields or do the lesser workers attend to them?" I asked curiously, wondering about their ranking system and how it all worked. Xadus paused his walking of the field and looked back at me.

"It isn't so much about lesser. Without the men who know how to work the earth, none of us would eat. And for the most part we all pitch in when it comes to the fields," He explained.

I tilted my head, thinking about his reply and continued to walk through the plot lines, careful not to trample any of the perfectly groomed rows. I squatted down, touching lightly the leaves of a budding sprout from the dark earth in wonder and fasc ination.

"Even I do," Xadus continued, crouching beside me. "I examine the fields to see what places need more water, or less water. And I'll pull some weeds when I make my surveys."

I glanced over at him when he spoke, smiling softly.I couldn't help but think of how attentive Xadus was to do such things. A moment later I stood, curious to see more than just the fields.

"Show me more?" I asked gently.

Xadus followed me to his feet, and gestured back towards the town. Together we walked back into the village, passing the many small dwelling places, all clearly constructed painstakingly by hand.

I admired the hard work and the strength of the zabrak males as Xadus explained to me the labor that went into constructing the town, and its upkeep. There was not much by way of trees way out here, but what wood was found was was used to make framework, and the exterior of the structures were made from mud and grass mixed. Xadus explained this as we made our way through the streets.

"The mud housing regulates the temperature, since we have no advanced mechanisms like the rest of the galaxy. It soaks in the warmth of the day, and releases it during the chilly evenings when the sun goes down."

"Fascinating," I responded, truly impressed.

As we walked down an alley, I noted several of the young males that had competed in the Selection yesterday. When they'd walked by us on the street, a few of them had the nerve to turn sour faces our direction- more in specific- towards _Xadus_. I could recognize those expressions of disdain and bitterness anywhere.

It was the same look I often saw upon the faces of my own sisters, after I obliterated them in a spar fight. I tended to revel in it.

"Sore losers I take it?" I whispered, nodding their direction.

Xadus nodded grimly. "Yeah. Let's keep going," he urged, patting his thigh to coax Vas after him as he turned to leave, his pace brisk.

"Why?" I asked, putting out a hand to slow Xadus's escape. "There's no harm in rubbing their loss in their pouty faces," I grinned, taking hold of his hand and stepping closer to stand at his side.

Surely he couldn't tell me he didn't want to gloat just a _little_ bit?

Xadus stared at me with pursed lips. "I don't want a confrontation. It only causes more hurt feelings which can grow into a heated rivalry and perhaps violence. It's unnecessary."

I couldn't help but laugh at his words.

"So? You're leaving here shortly anyway," I smirked. "Besides, they won't dare try anything with _me_ here. They know I'd wipe the floor with them," I snorted confidently. In most things I tried to remain _somewhat_ humble, but boasting about my fighting skill was an area I had not yet mastered.

"Come on, "I bade, "Besides, you'll feel better afterwards. Trust me," I prompted, pulling his hand lightly after me.

To my confusion, Xadus frowned and shook his head, his tone becoming more quiet than even before. "That's the opinion of... of a bully."

"No it's not," I replied, still pulling him, whether he liked it or not, towards the males. Before he could make any more protests, I lifted my voice and called out to the males lingering in the alley street.

"Whatcha boys staring at huh?!"

Catching their attention, the group of four looked over at me.

"What's with all the frowns?" I taunted. "Don't feel too sour! I'm sure the next sister who comes along won't be half as hard to impress as me!"

The males bristled with offense, their eyes flashing in anger and fists clenching.

"Souza," Xadus protested in a whispered panic. "Souza, this isn't funny," he insisted, squeezing my hand pleadingly.

"And another thing," I continued boldly, now strutting forward fearlessly into the group, having released Xadus's hand since his protesting to come along was tiresome.

"If any of you have a _problem_ with my new mate from now on... rest assured I will be returning to teach you all how to _respect_ your superiors," I hissed in warning, sounding almost deadly as I eyed each and every one of them.

Several of the males swallowed at my words and a couple ground their jaws with uncertainty. But none moved to retaliate or even offer a retort. They were wise, to not entangle themselves with me. But that didn't stop me from being peeved that they thought they could treat Xadus with contempt, just because he had been more skilled than they.

"Maybe instead of turning your wrath towards Xadus, you should decide to learn from him. Hmm?" I added lastly, cocking my brow. They gave no response, other than their expressions turning down in submission.

"Good," I finished, nodding in satisfaction. I then turned on my heel and walked back to Xadus where I retook his hand and gestured for him to lead the way.

"Why did you do that?" he practicaly spat at me. What was with his sudden temper?! I'd just defended him!

"Why?" I repeated incredulously. "I did it so they'd get off your back. Now you don't have to worry about them bothering you," I defended. "I mean, you can't stay at the temple forever, and even if your stay does last a couple weeks, you would have had to face them at some point," I reasoned.

"I took care of them for you, since you seemed too good and passive to handle it yourself."

Xadus sighed. "Listen, I appreciate you looking after me, but couldn't you have explained that to me first? And let me decide if I approved or not? I've gone through a lot in my life. And avoiding confrontation has gone a long way."

"Defending you wasn't something I was about to ask your permission for," I snorted.

Maybe that was wrong of me to say, but it was true. I wouldn't have thought about it. After all, it was becoming abundantly clear to me that Xadus was someone I could really come to care for- and I defended the people I cared for- no matter what. Right now, the people I cared for were few in number, but that only made them more precious to me.

After a moment of silence I looked up at him, realizing our hands were still classped.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked him, unsure of what to make from his downcast expression. Just in case, I loosened his hand from my grip and took a small step back, giving him some room. Finally he answered.

"Not mad," he murmured. "Just disappointed... You acted... ignoring my own wishes. It's like I didn't even have a say in what was going on. And I thought... " he paused, closing his eyes and looking down and away. "-but maybe that was the problem."

I sighed, feeling frustrated with myself. Even if I didn't fully understand why I had upset him, I was trying, and I was mostly upset I'd done something to cause a wedge between us so soon into our budding relationship.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't know it would bother you," I admitted embarrassedly. "It's just- I don't know- it's something I would have done for anyone I cared about," I whispered, now folding my arms and looking away also.

There was a moment of silence between us, but it didn't last too long.

"I appreciate the fact that you care about me enough to defend me," Xadus replied."-To protect me. It... it means a lot. I don't often find people like that. But I also value morals and... and non-confrontation above all else."

"Really?" I asked in near astonishment, arching my head to look at him. "A zabrak who values non-confrontation?" I snorted in disbelief. The concept was so ridiculously against anything I'd ever heard about a male that I almost laughed again.

"You may not like me very much then... I tend to be a very... _confrontational_ girl..." I murmured with a tight grimace.

Suddenly, Xadus was laughing, and I glanced up to see his features back into good humor, his eyes alight with amusement. The laugh soon quieted into a soft chuckle, no doubt in reply to my startled expression.

"Maybe it's a balance act, then?" He suggested.

"I suppose it will be," I admitted in reply, surprised at his change in attitude, but glad that at least he had laughed at me. It showed me that he wasn't as uptight as I'd feared.

Xadus took a deep breath, shook his head lightly and smiled. "Come on. Let me show you around the building my dad and Victus work in."

I nodded, eager to continue on, and so he gestured me forward and we fell into stride side by side once more.

Several paces down the road, my mind momentarily remembered the feel of Xadus's hand in mine, even as been brief and fleeting as it had been. I'd been distracted on other matters in the moment, but now thinking back about how I'd been bold enough to take hold of it, I couldn't help but smile, recalling the sensation with stupid reverie. I'd liked having his hand to hold.

Had he liked holding mine?

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_Thanks for reading you guys! I hope you will leave some more reviews for me! Coming up, Souza and Xadus will be leaving town and embarking their journey for the temple! Some exciting stuff is going to happen then so be watching out for coming chapters!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Hello readers! _

_I'm super excited because now we've finally reached my favorite part of the story! The adventure part! Woo hoo! Enjoy guys!_

_Also, this chapter's bottom half is from Xadus's POV. :D_

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter: 16

...

I continued to follow Xadus around, getting lost and distracted in all the new discoveries of the town and not minding as the hours went by.

However, all too soon Xadus announced that the tour was pretty much over and we took the path for his home.

"The whole villagie was built and is run by men," Xadus pointed out as we finally turned down his home street.

"I can tell," I commented with a small smirk. "But tell me this: Do the men ever _wish_ women were around?" I asked curiously. "Not that you all don't keep each other marvelous company... but I was just curious," I added.

Xadus appeared thoughtful for a moment.

"I'm pretty sure there are many who wished that we lived with the women, if only for the fact that the village would look nicer," he responded at length. I laughed lightly at his explanation.

"I think you all did just fine. Sometimes the temple is so clean it's infuriating," I commented. "But you'll see that for yourself."

"I remember," he answered, an unbidden tone of sadness reflected in his voice. "I was often cleaning those temples."

"Oh..." I grimaced, thinking perhaps that wasn't a good topic to talk about. "Do the males ever miss their mates?" I asked instead.

"Of that I am less certain of. But I suspect some of them do, yes. I think even my father may. But after he gave my mother my sister, she sent him and I away."

"And... you haven't gotten to see your sister since?" I asked carefully. He shook my head.

"I know she likely believes the Nightsister ways as well as my mother, and practices them with as much... severity. She's probably close enough to pick a mate, by now," he reflected.

"There is still some chance you may yet see her again," I commented.

"A slim chance... but still a chance," he replied, as we now stepped into the courtyard of his home. "I have some hope that maybe... she turned out more like me. But even if she did, it was probably squashed out of her. Still, I hope. It's always what keeps me going," he sighed.

I considered his words and nodded. After a moment of silence, I cleared my throat. "We should leave soon. I will bid your father goodbye," I said, stepping into the house.

"Sure. I'll grab my bag and we can say goodbye," he responded, giving his thigh a pat to call his pet, Vas, after him. Coming into the home for perhaps the very last time, I searched around and spotted Neprad in the living area. I stepped in tentatively and waved tog et his attention.

"I've seen the whole village sir," I commented, "It was wonderful. You take good care of everything. I am very impressed with the order you ensure amidst the people," I smiled.

Neprad looked up, then smiled at me, and especially the praise. He stood from where he had been seated, and nodded. "I appreciate the kind words."

"Unfortunately, it is time for us to depart... You have been a gracious host," I said softly, bowing politely. "I enjoyed my stay and hope I was not an inconvenience to you... I cannot promise how soon Xadus will be returning... but I also cannot imagine Mother Talzin will allow him to stay longer than the course of a month," I admitted.

"It has been a pleasure, and please know that of course you are always welcome here in this home. It is _your_ home, too. And I consider you a daughter," Neprad responded with warmth.

I couldn't help but feel surprised at the extremely kind gesture and my heart squeezed with remorse that this may be the last time I ever got to see Neprad... At this point, he was the only father figure I had ever had. Swallowing back this sad fact, I nodded once more then turned off to my bedroom to collect my things, leaving Xadus alone with his father to say goodbye. After grabbing my bags I moved through the door and into the courtyard, not wanting to interrupt Xadus and Neprad's goodbye. They had a tremendous relationship, and I couldn't help but envy them for it. If I was that close with my mother... well... I was sure I would have had less issues than I did. And my father?

I'd come all the way out here, hoping to find him, only to discover he was far away beyond my reach. The thought was crushing in and of itself. I lumbered up beside my speeder and leaned against it, moping. I truly was loath to leave this open, free place. The temple was all rules and regulations. This had almost been a vacation for me! Perhaps I could convince Xadus that I could stay just a few more days after all...

But then, I saw him, all packed up, and moving to meet me in the courtyard. He seemed fully prepared and confident to face the chalenges ahead of us, and that in turn bolstered me. Part of me wished that I had that natural confidence. The Gods knew I hadn't felt _quite_ the same way upon parting from the temple...

Turning to the speeder, I slid onto it first, taking the steering controls since I knew where we were going.

Xadus stepped up to the speeder behind me and to my surprise, picked up Vas and seated the animal in front of him. I had not been aware that we were bringing the large over grown reptile with us, but part of me was somewhat pleased to have a third party along. It would help keep things less awkward during our hours of travel time...

...

As we zoomed away from my home, I couldn't help but stare back at it for a while, wondering how Iong it would take before I began to miss it. I couldn't say I was exactly looking forward towards being within a Nightsister Temple again, but I wasn't about to express my reservations to Souza. Vas rocked in my lap, aggitated at the strangeness of the speeder, but I kept my arms tight around her until she calmed down.

Every once and a while Souza glanced back over her shoulder to look at me, and I assumed she was just checking to see if I was alright. She even smiled upon seeing Vas's face as it was rippled by the wind.

"Doing okay?" she asked occasionly.

"We're fine. I think she's finally getting used to the speed," I said with a chuckle, gesturing with my chin down at the reptile. She grinned back and we continued riding until the sun star had long gone down and Souza was forced to ride with the headlamps on the speeder.

When we crossed over into the desert section of the territory, where plants became scarce and the dirt was hard packed, she pulled the speeder to a stop. I thought the place was a little eerie in the quick coming darkness, but I was hungry and was glad to get off the bike and stretch my legs. Vas shared my sentiment and sprang down eagerly, mouth open and forked tongue flicking the air as she prowled about the near by bushweeds and smelled the rocks.

I chuckled lightly as the animal found somewhere to do her business.

"Sorry for the long wait, love," I apologized to the animal.

"What?" Souza asked, turning to look over at me in confusion. I opened my mouth to explain, but she seemed to realize her error as she looked over at Vas and a blush crept onto her cheeks.

"Oh, yes, of course," she blurted, shaking her head at herself. Inwardly I warmed at the idea that Souza thought I had been addressing her. Suddenly I was blushing as well.

"Sorry," I apologized again, to Souza this time.

"No, no sorry," she laughed as she unpacked our food and sorted through the fruit, walking over to hand me the collection of grub to choose from.

"Thanks," I said, selecting a fruit and taking an eager bite.

"I figure we'll stay here for the night," she replied, "It's a bit more..well... exposed than I usually like. But it wasn't so bad the last time I slept here," she explained.

I nodded in response. "It should do. Even if it's exposed, you aren't alone this time."

"Should we get a fire started? I don't usually have fires because I don't like attracting attention, but it might get cold and I doubt there's much attention to attract out here," Souza shrugged.

"Sounds good," I responded, turning to look to begin my look about for firewood. The area was open, but there were plenty of old trees that were down, and I found plenty of firewood. I had several armfuls when I returned, and easily set about building up a good structure for a fire before finding in my pack a flint to strike a spark.

Souza had already spread out both our sleeping rolls and had reclined on hers, biting into a fruit. Vas had sat down right beside her, and was panting as she stared off into the blackness of night. If any wild creature wandered a bit too close towards our camp sight, Vas would be the first to warn us. Once I was assured the fire was thriving, I sat down and crossed my legs, stretching out my hands breifly to enjoy the warmth.

After another moment, I closed my eyes and sat straight and still, beginning my nightly meditation practice. It was a habbit my father had asked that I keep up, and so I always had. However, the moment I began to connect with the spirits of nature around us, a large, throbbing aura of distress beamed alive before my consciousness. It only took me a split second to realize it was Souza... Why was she so upset? I could feel her uneasiness like an itch beneath my own skin. I attempted to look past her and contuinue my meditation, but the presense she inhabited before me was too concerning to ignore.

Sighing, I opened one eye to squint over at her.

"You are radiating distress," I informed.

She nearly jumped the moment I spoke.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied. "I can... go for a walk," she offered.

I shook my head. "It's not distracting. I'm just... concerned," I responded, opening both eyes now.

She opened her mouth to speak but hesitated, closing her mouth again. After a moment she leaned back down onto Vas and busied herself with stroking the animal's scaely hide. Vas purred more loudly, closing her eyes in enjoyment and nuzzling into the touch. For one wild and completely unexplainable moment, my mind wondered what it would be like to feel those soothing fingers on my own skin. Shaking the thought away, I returned to focus and sighed. It seemed Souza wouldn't tell me what was bothering her, so I simply closed my eyes and resumed meditating.

She was still anxious, and uncertain, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, it was disturbing enough to make it difficult to focus fully. Still, before I could press her again, she seemed to relax. Finding the opportunity a waste if I didn't meditate, I slipped back, expanding my attention to the spirits around us and simply listening.

I meditated for a long while, but after a time, I pulled back, and went to lie down on my own sleeping mat on Vas's other side. When I awoke in the morning, it was a slow awakening and a groggy one.

The air was cool and a bit crisp and when I opened my eyes slowly the sky was gray- not yet fully lit by the sun star.

My body naturally awoke very early out of habit but this morning it was certainly later than I had expected. Without a usual schedule, I hadn't known exactly what time it was. I rolled over under the blankets and sat up, only to be greeted by a dry, rough tongue and a lap full of sleepy reptile.

Souza stirred, rolling over in her own bed roll and Vas wasted no time in turning to tilt her head and lick Souza in the face as well. I couldn't help but laugh. Souza winced at the tongue on her face but she smiled when Vas finally ceased and rubbed the saliva off her face.

I managed to give her an apologetic look, but only after I stopped laughing.

Sitting up, Souza stretched, moving out from under the blankets and coming slowly to a stand, letting the blankets fall off as she stood and extended her arms one way then another.

"Seems like we slept just a bit later than expected," I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck as I watched her.

"Like I said- no big rush on the schedule," she replied. I nodded, now grunting a bit as Vas settled her whole weight in my lap. Vas purred as she settled into my lap, begging for attention. It sort of made getting up to get breakfast from our bag of food... complicated.

Souza must have noticed my position because she smirked and brought the pack over to me, sitting down beside me. With a sigh, I obliged Vas, using one hand to pet the reptile, while with the other I managed to reach into the bag and grab something easy to eat.

"Thanks," I said to Souza.

As we ate, the light began steadily illuminating the sky and the dull grey transformed to an emerging orange. Vas finally climbed off of my lap, leaving as all pets did once getting the attention they wanted, and I was free to use both hands once more. I finished eating, before beginning to pack up my sleeping mat.

Souza followed suit, packing away her sleeping mat as well and soon I was ready to reboard the speeder and move on.

That was when I heard it. The loud shriek in the distance that echoed off of every rock on the dry hard ground of the desert.

"That's the rancor," Souza stated, looking ahead into the lusher forests with a face full of apprehension. Vas's head jerked around sharply, and her spine fan arched up straight. She was hissing and snarling, and backing slowly towards us.

There was no avoiding entering that forest, and the sound had most certainly come from the very large- very _angry_ sounding carnivore.

"If we hurry we can pass it unnoticed," Souza said, looking over at me. I pursed my lips, but nodded. It wasn't often rancor wandered into the territory I lived in, but on hunts, I'd seen what rancor could do to their prey. And it wasn't pretty. But the only expression on my face was solid determination, and no fear. I pushed down Vas' fin, wrapping my arms around her to pick her up, rapidly mounting the speeder.

Souza mounted in front of me and flicked her speeder engine on. We were soon bursting off through the desert, a tail of dust spitting into the air in our wake.


	17. Chapter 17

Hello Faithful Readers!

Here I am, back again with another chapter! This one is a little more exciting than the last, so I hope you guys like it. Please dont' forget to leave reviews! They really keep me going!

This chapter is split povs again. Souza first then Xadus!

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter: 17

...

I didn't look forward to running into a rancor, but I liked to think I could take it down with my light bow if things went horribly wrong. Of course, I'd never faced one in person before... I'd only heard the stories...

Our temple was protected by a magik spell that kept all animals that could be threats away, so we never experienced any attacks within our territories. It was only when sisters ventured outside the boarders on missions had the horror stories started.

"Let's hope we can avoid that thing. I brought my weapons with me, but those things are not easy to take down..." Xadus said as we drove on.

"Yeah... not looking forward to running into it myself," I responded honestly.

As the morning hours passed, the desert slowly subsided into lush forest. The plants and the trees were beautiful and the flowers that decorated the landscape where everywhere.

I remembered traveling through this section of forest on my way to Soondoon, and momentarily wished we could stop and enjoy the place a while. However, imagining a raging rancor on our tail kept me going. I was not about ready to risk my neck to smell a flower. As we went along, my thoughts returned to the same anxieties I had struggled deeply with the night before... Fears I had of what future awaited the both of us.

When we arrived at the temple, I knew that Mother Talzin would indeed insist we begin our child making as soon as possible, and the thought rather intimidated me. I could hardly imagine how _that_ night would go and frankly I just knew it was bound to be horribly awkward. I barely _knew_ him. How was it possible to truly enjoy one another when that sole factor was missing?

The whole act was intimate. So what was it when your hearts were not?

Not to mention, how would Xadus even be treated by the other Nightsisters once we arrived? Would they start ordering him around like some slave?

As my thoughts tumbled on, I suddenly found myself emerging from them, and in a totally different section of forest that I did not recognize. The foliage was getting so thick and crowded that I had to drastically reduce my speed.

"Umm..." I bit my lip, not remembering this particular area and fretting that maybe I'd somehow managed to veer slightly off course... However, I didn't say anything outright to Xadus. Didn't want him thinking I was incompetent or anything! I knew the general direction I was going, so I knew I wasn't actually _lost_, just maybe a little off course?

Moving slowly through the thickening shrubs I noted how the forest only seemed to be getting harder to navigate. Finally, I was forced to stop the speeder altogether, shocked at the sheer sea of the vines which had now interwoven into my path on all sides.

"We may... need to do some cutting," I commented, now getting off the speeder and removing a descent sized knife from my bag. I was only slightly panicking now... But I dared not turn the speeder around, fearing that my brain would loose my sense of direction

Xadus nodded, climbing down and setting Vas on the ground before pulling a machete from his own pack, stepping forward to cut through the vines. When Xadus got to work, I followed suit, hacking and cutting a fair distance aside from him.

Vas paced around the speeder, hissing and rumbling discontentedly.

The vines were a strange, sticky texture, and sprayed green sap whenever we cut into them. More than twice did I splatter myself and I rolled my eyes in disgust. Xadus either didn't see me or decided not to say anything. After a few minutes we made some progress, and I returned to the speeder to hand walk it forward a bit before continuing my cutting. But no matter how many vines we cut, they ust seemed to stretch on and on. My stomach sank and I began to wonder if this was a lost cause...

What if we were stuck chopping for hours only to find ourselves lost in a never ending thicket?

Suddenly feeling sick, I stopped my cutting of the vines to lean an arm against a tree and tried to breathe away the fear.

Xadus glanced over at me briefly

"It is quite a bit of work. If you want to take a break, I can keep going for a while," he offered.

"No, no, it's not... it's not that," I quickly replied, not wanting him to get the impression I was weak. I was just... anxious. As I spoke I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking of how stupid I was.

Xadus frowned, tilting his head, pausing his chopping. "What is it, then?"

I should have brought an actual map- I shouldn't have stopped paying attention to what I was doing! Gods, and now Xadus was looking to me for an explanation and I was too embarrassed to give it! The only thing to do was keeping moving on. That was all we could do- lost or not.

Sucking in a deep breath I pushed myself from leaning on the nearest tree and went to respond. "It's-"

I stopped abruptly, seeing the previously stationary wall of trees bristle with movement. It was no small brush either... The entire set of trees moved, creaking and swaying as they were pushed. And between them, I saw the hard raw hide of reptilian skin.

Vas' fin arched up straight and stiff and she crouched, snarling and hissing in the general direction I was looking.

"Oh my gods... " I breathed, stepping quickly back. The sound of loud sniffing ensued, and a low, darkly primal grumble split the stillness of the jungle. Xadus jerked about, towards the sound, and by the look on his face, he recognized exactly what kind of trouble we were in the same time I did.

I jumped for the speeder, instantly going for my pack and wrestling out my bow. Xadus was right behind me, retrieving his own bow, still grasping his machete in his other hand.

Our joined movement must have been too abrupt because the trees rustled once more and a large claw suddenly came smashing down amidst them, not three yards from my position. The freakishly large hand of the rancor was enough to startle me, but when the head of the monster and its other claws broke through the wall of jungle foilage, I couldn't keep back a loud gasp.

The creature was absolutely HUGE and in this moment it was impossible for me to imagine any Nightsister taming such a beast. My bow went up and I aimed for between the animal's eyes, loosing my light arrow and watching as it merely skimmed off the creature's tough hide on its forehead. The rancor responded to my first attack by picking up one clawed hand and smashing it down onto the speeder, crushing the vehicle into nothing more than mangled metal and sparking wires.

I'd managed to jump away fast enough, but my entire body was now seized with a toxic mixture of cold fear and hot adrenaline.

I twisted around to fire again and again, only to watch my arrows skim off its hide.

Xadus had thrown himself back as the creature's clawed hand came down to crush the speeder, but had lept away to further the distance between himself and tb heast as he too began firing arrows from a different angle, trying to target places with less thick hide.

To my shock and relief, one of Xadus's arrows lodged, but it looked like nothing more than a tiny needle stuck harmlessly within the creature's skin. Rapidly, I tried to put together what kind of match we were up against.

The opponent was huge, enormously strong, and had skin nearly impenetrable. But i had its disadvantages too. It was a slow mover and it appeared to be more sensitive under the throat and probably on the back of the neck- if one of us could reach it.

The rancor suddenly spun, lashing out to try and strike at me, and turned tail to run as fast as I could.

"Xadus!" I cried as I jumped into the thick trees. Our only hope was that the monster would loose sight and smell of us amidst the thick shrubs of the forest. The not so good part- would be that we would not be able to see the creature or how close it was to us as we ran through the thick brush. But it was a risk worth taking if it meant our survival...

...

I'd been shooting back at the rancor, trying to hit the same spot as before, or as near as I could get- anything that could slow down the beast before us- but it seemed to glance off any attacks I made, and soon it was turning around, reaching out and pursuing Souza.

She yelled my name, and I watched as she raced off into the brush, leaving the beast with me. I decided to run the opposite direction, but Vas launched herself at the rancor, digging her claws into its hide as she tried to go for any weak points in the animal's physic. The rancor groped at the attacking Vas and whirled my pet away with its giant hand before sniffing the air, roaring and pacing off the direction after me.

I was just able to see Vas tumble into the thick forest undergrowth, having been thrown metres away from the fight, and roll several more before coming to a slow stop and whimpering. For a moment I thought she was down for good, but then she shook off and regained her feet, charging back towards me.

As relieved as I was that she was ok, the rancor was still roaring and raging towards me, and I had to turn my mind back to my own survival. To say that I had never expected to face off against a rancor was an understatement. Another understatement was to say that I was feeling rather unsettled as the massive beast chased me through the foliage. I was terrified. But the fear wasn't petrifying. I continued to run, turning and loosing an arrow at any chance I had.

I wasn't familiar with a forest this thick. Where I lived, foliage was scant, and trees grew in small clusters, the largest barely an acre, and certainly not this thick. This made running difficult, and even harder when the trees the rancor pushed aside and snapped all fell towards me!

If I focussed, I could feel the massive pressence of the rancor in the spirit realm, and behind it, Vas trying to keep up. But I couldn't sense Souza. I had to assume she expected me to follow her, and had run so far that now she didn't know where the rancor and I were. That was fine. At least she was safe.

I was running hard, by now, with the rancor still keeping up. It was no easy task dodging trees, and turning to fire arrows at the beast, and still keep a constant distance between us. I had no idea how long the rancor would hunt me, but I had to assume indefinitely.

It was swinging its massive arms, roaring in frustration, but its stomping steps were slow and cumbersome. I glanced over my shoulder to see Vas make yet another attack, now jumping on one of the rancor's back legs and rapidly scaling up its back, headed towards the neck.

This brought the rancor to a hault, spinning and thrashing, trying to reach for the reptilian hunter on its back. I aimed again, firing a few more arrows at the beast's exposed neck. One glanced away but my second lodged. The beast roared but I couldn't tell if it was from actual pain or mere annoyance.

Then, suddenly, Souza was spriting out from the bushes, racing with unnatural speed for the rancor's back, a long knife clutched in her palm. I gazed on as the Nightsister jumped onto the rancor's calve and sprang up onto its back from there, clinging on beside Vas and jabbing her knife into the monster's hide just above its spine.

The Rancor continued to thrash, reaching back for Souza and Vas in clumsy attempts.

Souza managed dodge the massive claws swinging back at her and continued to scamper up the monster's back, plunging the knife in a second time higher up between its shoulders. Meanwhile, Vas launched herself at one of the rancor's clawed hand, sinking teeth and claws into it. This gave Souza the opportunity to plunge the knife in several more times in scattered areas blue blood beginning to seep from the giant predator's injuries.

I reloaded my bow with another arrow but hesitated, not wanting to miss and accidentally hit Souza or Vas.

My assistance at this point, seemed to be unnecessary anyway, since now Souza had reached the rancor's shoulders and went for the final plunge towards its head. She poised and began her downward arch, but just then, the rancor had shaken Vas free of it's calwed hand, and reached up in a powerful swipe. The cry of warning had been at my lips, but it was too late.

My breath caught as the rancor batted Souza hard, knocking her off balance and sending her falling.

Desperately she reached out for the animal's skin, plunging her knife into its side as her body came falling off its shoulder. The knife carved downwards against its shoulder as the weight of her body still clinging, dragged it down.

This slowed the velocity of her fall, but did not prevent it entirely.

The grip of her hand on the knife was lost and she came down hard, collapsing backwards to end up sprawled flat on the ground. Before I quite processed everything, I was running towards where Souza had fallen, loosing arrow after arrow towards the rancor. My heart blazed with a mixture of protectiveness and fear. I wasn't going to let the beast get anywhere close to Souza again!

The rancor, now bleeding from three different areas, not including where Vas had bitten and scratched, only now decided it wanted no more of this fight. The arrows latched in its throat were no doubt taking affect, and the monster's strength was waining. With heavy, laborious groans, the rancor turned away for the forest, stumbling on its way and moaning in agony.

Vas lept to place herself in front of Souza and I, snarling and growling viciously at the rancor's retreating form.

The moment the rancor began to leave, I crouched down beside Souza, setting my bow down, and began looking her over for injuries. She seemed dazed. Her eyes were still open but they were closing and her head was rocking slightly from side to side.

"Souza...?" I asked tentatively, placing my hands on her shoulders to shake her lightly. She had to stay awake! I was pretty sure she had taken a hit to her head, and if she'd gotten a concussion, I couldn't let her slip into unconciousness...


	18. Chapter 18

Hello once again readers!

Thank you for your patience between my updates! I do apologize for being slow, but I hope the chapters are worth it to you! Anyway, the adventure has just begun so expect some more excitement as well as awkwardness between Souza and Xadus!

It starts with Souza's POV and then, switches to Xadus.

* * *

**Search For The Father**

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Chapter 18

...

I heard a voice, heavily resounding in the back of my mind. The pain right now was my primary concern and I squinted my eyes hard against it. But somewhere far away someone was shouting,

"Souza, come on!"

"Mmm," I groaned, lightly, feeling something rattling me hard, and not appreciating it. It only made my head swim!

Then, the blackness subsided and the voice became clearer and clearer. I dared to open my eyes and saw it was Xadus over me, holding my shoulders and shaking them.

"Okay, okay," I moaned helplessly.

"That's it," Xadus murmured. I could feel his hands moving over me, sliding over my arm wraps and pulling up the hem of my shirt.

"What? What is it?" I murmured, still feeling groggy, but totally confused as to what he was looking for.

"Any serious injuries." It was a statement and a question all in one. I couldn't really answer the question for him, since I had no idea. All I knew was that my head was throbbing uncomfortably again. Then when his hands found a place on my upper rib cage I hissed out a wince. Oh- that hurt.

He retracted his hand for a moment, then returned to the spot, gently probing once more. I opened my eyes again, trying to see for myself. When he reapplied the pressure I winced again, feeling it sting but I used my hands to lift my shirt tentatively higher. Only then did I realize my shirt was faintly ripped. Underneath were two scratches, not very deep, but they had begun to lightly bleed.

My mind scrambled to remember when that had happened. Probably when the rancor had batted me off of his shoulder...

"M' okay," I managed. "It's... not serious."

Xadus behaved like he didn't hear me, and speedily went to work ripping away fabric from the sleeve of his shirt and using it to staunch my bleeding. I groaned lightly, not liking the pressure being placed there, but also not wanting to look weak. Mentally I slapped myself, resolving to not be a sissy about the pain.

Vas settled beside me with a groan of her own and shifted her weight to lean slightly against my side while Xadus held the cloth against my wound, keeping up the pressure. It might not have been comfortable, but it would keep the wound from bleeding badly until we could return to our speeder.

Then, everything came back, and I remembered our horrible predicament. "Our speeder... our stuff... I have no idea where we are now..." I breathed out defeatedly.

Keeping the pressure with one hand against my side, Xadus leaned over me, gently resting his hand on my head to tilt it forward. "Yeah, I know. We'll have to figure something out."

I breathed in slowly, trying to get my head to stop spinning and looked up to lock my gaze with Xadus, who was now leaning remarkably close.

"What about.. you? You hurt?" I asked. "I thought you'd followed me. I didn't know you'd led the rancor away," I explained, feeling awful.

He shook his head. "Not hurt, no. I figured by splitting up, one of us would end up leading the rancor, and the other would have a better chance at attacking."

"I guess it worked.. just wished you'd told me the plan," I grinned, trying to find some humor, however sour, in the moment.

"Well, you sort of took off running," Xadus pointed out. "Not like you clued me in, either."

"I did _call_ to you though..." I argued in turn. I sighed in the next moment, closing my eyes.

"Either way... for our first fight together I guess it didn't go _that_ bad... I could be dead I guess. Honestly, I didn't think I'd survive a rancor attack..." I admitted.

"I didn't think any of us would," Xadus answered. "I hope that thing doesn't come back."

"I can't hear it," I said softly, straining to listen. "I stabbed it in a few major blood veined areas... " I added. "Even if it's not dead, it'd have to be as dumb as a rock if it wanted to come back for more," I grit out, my ribs stinging from the scratches.

"Doesn't look like you've got any wounds on your head," Xadus murmured, gently resting my head back down. "Hold the cloth against your side wound. I need to check over Vas."

I nodded, grateful for his gentleness with me and took over his hold of the cloth on my side.

"I hope she's okay," I remarked, worrying over Vas. I hadn't thought of her until now.

After a moment of breathing, and the throbbing in my head going away, I decided I wanted to sit up to see Vas better. Slowly, I lifted my arm and leaned on my elbow, rolling onto my good side and then pushing with my arm to sit up. I winced with the effort and didn't like the dizziness that came to me, but was satisfiied that I was off the ground.

Vas seemed to be pretty roughed up. A couple of missing scales, various scraps and scratches, and I suspected bruising as I could see some darkened areas that were swelling, but everything seemed minor.

"No major injuries," Xadus assured, with relief.

I sighed. "Oh good..."

"How's your head?" Xadus asked, looking at me once more.

"Throbbing, but okay I think," I responded, daring to look down at my scratches under the cloth again. The injury didn't look pretty and I grimaced in displeasure before reapplying the bloodied cloth there.

"Keep the pressure on that," Xadus instructed.

I nodded at him and smiled. "I got it," I promised.

Xadus sighed, looking about the open section of forest. It was likely he was thinking we should move to a more secluded spot, and that my blood my draw the attention of other scent driven predators.

I took a deep breath, deciding I wanted to stand now. Besides, if I wanted to make sure I healed, I'd have to start looking for herbs and the plants that I'd need to make a healing spell... If there were any of the spells I'd been sure to get good at- it were healing spells.

Getting to my knees a bit wobbly I prepared my head to stand and not to get dizzy. It didn't help one bit, and my balance went slightly off.

"Woah, woah. Take it easy. You've got a concussion and have lost no small amount of blood," Xadus said, placing a steadying hand on my arm to save me from rapidly shifting off-balance

"M- whoa- I'm- " I winced and let the dizziness subside, leaning no small amount into Xadus's firm hand. When the wooziness passed, I opened my eyes. "I'm okay. I just have to find some plants," I explained. "I can make a healing spell, but I need like a bowl- thing- to do it in," I expressed.

Xadus arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, I don't think you're likely to find anything but a big leaf-if you are even going to be able to stand at all much less walk," he countered.

"Ug, this is so complicated," I moaned in frustration, leaning into him for balance a second time. Xadus made sure to brace me with both hands on my shoulders.

"Just... sit down, ok? I'll make us a camp, get a fire going, and some place you can rest, alright?" he suggested.

"I don't- I mean- you shouldn't- I can do stuff," I protested, my thoughts rather haphazzard.

"Sit," he insisted firmly.

I sighed, but did as he told me. His tone sounded so... enforcing, but not in a bad way. It sounded like he really cared and was concerned. So I sat, slowly and continued to hold the cloth to my side. I closed my eyes, feeling Vas come to sit beside me and waited for what seemed like a long time before I suddenly felt the flickers of a fire in front of me. Vas nuzzled in closer as Souza sat once more, purring softly. The warm flames coaxed my eyes open and I scooted closer towards it, only just now finding my skin was a bit cold as the sun star was lowering over the horrizon. I pet Vas as I enjoyed the fire, checking my now fully soaked cloth of blood.

It seemed the bleeding had finally stopped but I didn't know what to do now, since I didn't have any more cloth or herbs to treat the dried cuts with.

Turning my eyes back up to Xadus, I watched as he got to work putting together a stable shelter made from the elements around and smiled. Of course... I suppose the men all learned those things, how to survive in the wild, hunt, and whatnot- but it was still impressive to watch him as he went along, knowing exactly what he was doing, and doing it with excellence.

I desperately wanted to help, and now that my cut wasn't bleeding I contemplated getting up and doing just that. Slowly, I moved my calves to the side so I could get up on my knees, and I did so quietly, hoping Xadus wouldn't notice me for a bit, and therefore couldn't stop me.

But I didn't get very far before he suddenly said, "Don't," voice not harsh, but stern. He hadn't even looked over at me.

"Ug..." I sighed. "I have to get up at _some_ point," I stated with a grin, "Unless you planned on gallantly carrying me into the fort," I remarked with a coy smile.

"The idea had crossed my mind," he countered, stacking more tree boughs.

I quirked a brow, my gut lurching with that same fluttery sensation I'd felt the first day I'd come into contact with the males.

"Oh," was all I said, a mixture of surprise and curiosity warring within me at the idea of at what it would be like to be carried by him.

It didn't take Xadus too much longer before he had the shelter built sturdily enough to satisfy him. It was late getting late, and I watched the fire until I saw Xadus standing still in the corner of my vision. Glancing back over to him I noted he was finished with the fort and smiled.

"Impressive. You build many of those before?" I asked.

"I've gone on my fair share of hunting trips," he answered, now coming over to stand by the fire, holding his hands closer to absorb the heat. "Vas and I go out as often as possible."

The reptile gave a small sound, as though agreeing with his statement, and I chuckled.

"Speaking of hunting- I'm getting hungry. What about you?' I inquired.

Xadus pursed his lips. "Yeah, well... medical treatment and shelter came first. In the morning I'll go hunting and we can having something to eat, then... Too bad we didn't think to grab our entire packs when the rancor attacked."

"Yeah..." I sighed, resigning myself to suffering through my hunger till the morning.

I'd done fasts before, for 'spiritual' reasons- which I'd never understood or really thought important- but none the less I knew I had above average endurance.

"I'm hungry, too," Xadus stated, sending me a reassuring look. "For now, let's just try to sleep, to pass the time till morning faster," he suggested.

I nodded in agreement and decided to try and stand again, wondering if he was going to scoop me up into his arms like he'd threatened to or not. I really wasn't _that_ helpless.

As I anticipated, Xadus I frowned and quickly paced up to me, but only lightly placed his hands on my shoulders for support.

"I'm okay, really," I promised, protesting lightly even as I fought the onslaught of renewed dizziness. My body was really hating me when I moved. Xadus hummed noncommittally at my protest, but didn't remove his hold, just being there.

I took my first few steps towards the fort successfully, even through the dizziness, managing to seem somewhat graceful again. Xadus' hand was only mildly distracting as I walked along, not used to having anyone hold me or touch me in such a supportive manner. When it came to entering the fort, in which I had to crouch to do, my head swam again but only mildly. Xadus kept moving right along with me the entire way.

I lowered to my knee slowly and glanced inside the hut, admiring its well insulated ceiling and the softer forest floor that he'd used for the bedding. After a moment, I crawled in, glad to be out of the wind and enjoying the stillness of the air within.

It wasn't... _warm_ persay... but it kept most of the harsher cold out. And the fire wasn't far. I could lay with my feet towards the flames and let the heat keep my toes warm.

Once I was settled down, Xadus lay down as well, and I noted the little space between us. But then, Vas crawled into the hut as well, somehow fitting between us-as if she had some silly plan to keep us apart. As if it wasn't going to be pointless by the time we _got_ to the Nightsister temples, anyway.

I smiled anyway, as Vas came in to make herself comfortable and glanced to Xadus. He seemed distracted with some thought or another and I wondered if I should speak. Eventually, I decided to break the silence.

"Thank you," I managed. "For... the fire, and the fort... and for taking care of me like you did," I said. "I'm not really used to having someone do everything for me. It was only slightly infuriating sitting back and watching you do all the work. But I still appreciated it," I assured.

Xadus blinked, and turned to watch me in the dim light of the fire, shadows cast across his face. His expression was... surprised, but he then put on a very small smile.

"I'm just glad I could help."

I contemplated that statement with a cocked brow and leaned an arm over the top of Vas towards him. "You're glad to help huh?" I asked. "You do know you're not... _obligated_ to do those things. I'm used to taking care of myself, as helpless as I seem at the moment," I stated.

"I don't think you are helpless. And I know that you are used to providing for yourself and doing things on your own," Xadus responded slowly. "But... if we're... if we want 'us' to work out, then I think we should serve each other... if that makes sense."

I strained hard to wrap my brain around that. I'd never had to do something like this before...

"So... a barter system then...?" I inquired, looking at him curiously. "You help me- I help you sort of thing?"

Xadus chuckled. "Not so much bartering... more like team work."

"Huh..." I pursued my lips then looked back at him, "So what can I do for _you_ then?" I inquired.

He'd already made the fire and built the fort- and with no food to cook... there wasn't much I could think of that I could do in turn. Then I saw his ripped shirt where he had taken some fabric to staunch my bleeding. Maybe I could sew him a new shirt? Or fix the one he had? Once we were back at the temple that was.

But he shook his head before I could make the suggestion. "It's not a big deal. I mean. It's not like we have to count every action. Just... it's what you can do when you can do it, I suppose..."

This was getting complicated.

"Okay..." I sighed, feeling only slightly frustrated. I just hoped to the Gods that things would get easier. "But I'll fix your shirt when we get to the temple and I have things to work with," I said determinedly, taking a finger and prodding it at the seam where he had ripped it.

"It should be an easy fix. We Nightsisters make our own clothes as it is, so it shouldn't be difficult."

He smiled, snorting softly. "I appreciate it."

There it was again! That warm feeling in the pit of my stomach and that flutter inside my chest. I didn't know what it meant but it made me say stupid things because the next thing I blurted was-

"And... if you get cold- don't hesitate to climb over your pet and borrow some body heat from me." I blushed madly when I realized what I'd said. But there was no taking it back now. I had to rectify my statement somehow!

"I mean... a reptile skin is only as warm as the sun it's been laying out in," I rushed.

Shadows hid his expression from me but I heard him clear his throat. "Yeah, yeah. I understand."

I laid down then, feeling painfully awkward and tried not to think too hard.

But gosh darn it, if we were _going_ to be together, I couldn't help preferring the idea that Xadus would actually _want_ to initiate physical contact with me. If anything, sleeping closer together would get us better used to being so vulnerable with one another.

But maybe that was over thinking things. After all, this was a male and who knew what went on in his mind about the matter. I guess- I just didn't want him to be so formal. I sighed lightly and closed my eyes, determining to settle down.

That was when my stomach growled loudly.

I felt like I wanted to burry myself in the ground.

"Sorry..." I groaned in mortification.

And then he laughed.

He was laughing at me! And what a wonderfully, soothing sound it was...

...

I had to laugh at that. The complete randomness of the sudden growl from Souza's stomach was far too funny. I hoped I wasn't coming off as offensive, but I couldn't help it.

In reply, she scooped up a loose handful of dry leaves and flung them my way in a pitiful act of retaliation. I didn't expect the sudden loose ball (which turned into something more akin to confetti) to be thrown at me, and the childishness of it only renewed my bubbles of laughter. I couldn't even explain why, just that it was extremely amusing.

When her lame act only won her more laughter, she rolled over to look at Vas.

"Vas, bite him," she ordered my pet flatly. Vas lifted her head slightly to look at Souza, tilted her head, then sighed and settled back down, closing her eyes.

Finally my laughs subsided and I had to wipe a tear from my eye, my sides aching and my cheeks hurting. "Sorry," I managed, knowing that I didn't sound at all apologetic.

"You're lucky I'm trying to mind my cuts or I'd give you a smack myself," she commented with a grin.

"Uh huh..." I responded before I could really consider it.

"Was that _doubt_ I hear?" she asked challengingly.

I mentally prepared for what Souza had threatened even as I responded. "Possibly..."

There wasn't much space at all to maneuver inside the small hut. If there had, I could have avoided Souza's attack, since I was expecting it. But it was only a smack, and didn't hurt beyond the stinging that lasted barely a few seconds.

I merely hummed brief amusement. "I think you are far too touchy." Why was I goading her? I had no idea, but I was deiriving great entertainment from it.

"Touchy?" Souza yipped, rolling over again, to smack me a second time, this time just a bit harder, "You have _no_ idea.

Once I'd found this particular sensitive point-and found that I could get away with it, I could not help myself. "Oh... did I strike a nerve?" At this point, I could barely remember _what_ it was that we were arguing about-only that it was funny.

"Do you _want_ me to pummel you, tough guy?" she shot back with a grin. "Because I will. I'll wipe the floor with you pal- just like I did in the Selection," she smirked.

Well ouch. That wasn't fair. I made sure not to show that she had struck a nerve in _me_ with that one. "I wasn't exactly going at my full potential, either," I defended.

"Oh, is that so? Let me guess... you wanted to go easy on me until I thought I had you pegged, then you would surprise me when I wasn't expecting?" she prodded.

By now, I was beginning to wonder why I had pressed the issue. I could feel her smirking even through the silence.

"I was being... cautious," I reasoned. "I wanted to see what skills you had, but I also was trying to... just... just never mind," I gave up, rolling over with my back to Souza.

This time it was her turn to laugh.

"Don't sound so deflated, you'll get your second chance to show me all you got," she promised plafully. "I imagine we'll have plenty of time to spar at the temple," she added with a yawn.

The temple. How could I forget? I knew I was going to regret it, but I rolled back over and propped myself on my elbows to better look at her. "Ah."

After a moment, she opened her eyes again to look at me. "What?"

I shook my head. "Nothing."

She smiled more. "What?" she goaded.

"It's nothing," I insisted, laying back down. "I was just thinking about what you said."

"Oh," she replied. Then, after another pause she cleared her throat. "You may not like being at the temple. It's so different from your home and well- rather boring."

"If it's anything like what I remember Nightsister temples being like-I'll be stuck with every chore and errand imaginable. Which I've handled before..." I responded, trying to keep any resignation and sadness from my tone, but likely failing.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Souza responded swiftly, her tone firm. "I'm not about to let every other Sister in the temple giving orders to _my_ mate. That's for sure," she snorted.

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise, too stunned for words.

She folded her arms, appearing all grim and grumpy now, and I still didn't know what to say.

It was certain that Souza was trying to protect me from being turned into a slave, and the mere idea was enough to make me enormously grateful. But I didn't know how to say any of this.

Finally, I managed something. "I don't know what to say... other than I would be so grateful."

It was lame, and I should have said something better, but it was late and I was tired. I blamed my lack of elloquence on my exhaustion. I had just battled a rancor, for goodness sake. I deserved some slack.

She only shrugged. "If anyone's going to be giving you orders it will be me." I blinked, but then she smiled. "And even that I don't intend to do."

I snorted and nodded, yet again without words. The only thing I could do was murmur another 'thank you'.

Silence took over the night, and I lay, listening to the sound of the insects and animals of the night, the fire crackling softly, and Vas panting. My eyes traced the woods outside then came back to the Nightsister beside me. As far as mates went, I could have done far worse...

A strong, sudden desire to always be there to protect and comfort her gripped me to my core. Perhaps it was just the knowledge of knowing she was mine, and that no one else would be there fore her, or maybe a deeply routed male instinct was rising up from within. Either way, I desperately wanted to know this beautiful female better, and wished that some how, she might feel the same towards me.

After a moment of silence she spoke again. "I was serious earlier you know... "

I scrambled to remember what it was she had said earlier. But then she continued.

"I've never... " she stopped and sighed. "I've never been held closely by anyone, much less a male, and I look forward to finding out what it's like..._without_ it being forced upon me by stupid customs," she whispered, the last part said very quietly.

I silently considered what Souza had just revealed to me, and found that in some ways, I could relate. I could never remember a time when my mother looked at me with love. Or hugged me. Or even gave me a kind word. My father, when I was younger, had been the only person who would hug me.

I nudged Vas's flank, and with a huff and a look of disaproval, she got up from between us and moved to stand sentry at the entrance to the small hut.

After a moment, I shifted closer and tentatively placed a hand over Souza's as we lay there.

I was unaccustomed to the contact, but I welcomed it. When she moved her hand to grip mine back, something shifted in my heart. A great peace flooded me, along with an odd sense of... wholeness.

With our hands interlocked, and our minds at ease, we finally slipped into sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello readers! _

_So sorry it has been such a long time! This year has been so difficult for me. I won't go into any lengthy explanations, but I will say I so appreciate that you have checked back and I truly hope you continue to enjoy the chapters I post!_

_This chapter is all Souza's POV :) _

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**Search For The Father**

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Chapter 19

...

With the feel of his hand in mine, I felt steady. I felt calm, and I felt... okay. Which was a big deal for me. I don't know when, but I fell asleep at some point, feeling warm and happy. When I awoke, I was surprisingly rested for having slept on hard ground. The smell was different too... It was distinctly musky and the air was still.

It wasn't the first time that week I woke up not remembering where I was- but my memory returned rapidly.

I opened my eyes and shifted over into the source of warmth beside me, vaguely recalling that Vas was somewhere in the fort. But the skin I felt against my back was definitely _not_ scaly. Opening my eyes I realized it was not Vas I was lying beside, but Xadus. How?

_OH_.

My brain clicked and I felt my cheeks heat rapidly. He stirred slightly in response to when I had rolled over, and in the next moment, heavy panting and the sound of a tongue lapping broke the silence. Xadus groaned and I assessed how Vas was doing her best to lick his face off.

"Vas, Vas... just... urg..." Xadus moaned, trying to push her muzzle away. "I know you're hungry just hang on."

Having achieving full consciousness, I tentatively scooted away before sitting up so that I didn't crowd the male zabrak in whom I'd been sharing space with and ran a hand through my hair. Again, I was pleased that I'd decided to have dreads. No brushing- and very little maintence. As I sat up, I felt the hunger pains of my stomach begin.

Xadus too, sat up, rolling his shoulders and giving Vas an agreeable shove to the side as she was trying to climb into his lap.

"I should probably head out now, before the sun star climbs any further, to go hunt," Xadus announced, now turning to look at me. "I'll leave Vas behind for protection," he added.

I glanced back at Xadus with a quirked brow. "Shouldn't I come with you?"

"I hunt on my own all the time," he responded.

I sighed, leaning back on my elbows. I could tell this was going to be a loosing battle.

"Alright, fine. I'll let you do your thing then," I agreed with a soft smile."But whatever you bring _back_ I'll help cook," I insisted.

Xadus returned the small smile looking genuinely pleased with my cooperation. "Sure, I'll let you do all the cooking," he agreed. "I suppose I'll have to find out one way or another if you are a good cook," I added with a wink.

Despite the jab, I couldn't help but laugh at his boldness. Could it be that he was actually warming up to me? It wasn't until he got up and I watched him head out of the tent that I considered how I'd probably not need to cook for him for very long... Not if he was meant to leave the temple after only a month of dwelling there with me... In that moment, my heart squeezed in distress and I shut my eyes.

And what of my father? It was shocking, but I'd not thought of the information I'd been given from that zabrak named Tosht in the village until now. Granted- a lot had been on my mind since then- but still. Thinking on it now, I could not deny that part of my spirit longed to search my father out and meet him... It was a rebellious part of me that longed to free myself from my cult and have a _real_ adventure...

But what of Xadus? There was no telling what he would think if I tried something so scandelous... and there was no counting on the fact that he would wish to come with me. Either way, it was more likely that our relationship (if we could call it that) wouldn't last beyond the month we _had_ to be together for custom's sake.

And that just launched me into a whole new set of thoughts. Me- with child?! The idea was practically appalling. I wasn't good with people! I was still figuring out how to stay civil in a conversation! How was I going to be good with a kid? _My_ kid?

I nearly burst into tears then and there. It was only Vas's company that kept me composed. The blasted animal kept looking at me all concerned and I couldn't help but hold it together, for her.

When I finally got over myself, I took to fretting over Xadus. What if that Rancor came back? What if he was attacked by another kind of carnivore? Was it possible for me to stop worrying for like ten seconds?

Apparently not.

In a desperate attempt to take my mind off my fears, I checked my scabbed over scratches from the day before and was pleased to see they didn't get infected over night. Still, I smelled awful and desperately wanted a bath. This was the longest I had been without one and the odor coming off of me was horrendous. I was surprised Xadus hadn't choked to death during our sleep. If I was lucky, we'd come across some hot springs in these jungles during the next leg of our journey. I knew there were quite a few in various areas, one just had to know which ones were safe to enter, and which ones to not.

A half hour passed with my mind traveling to different subjects in this way, and when the bushes not far from camp suddenly rustled, my heart skipped a beat. But I instantly recovered when I saw it was only Xadus. Relief flooded through me, and I stood up quickly, to greet him. Pain laced through my side and some other areas but I hid it well.

From the looks of things, Xadus was definitely successful and at the sight of food my stomach growled again with anticipation. The animal wasn't massive, but it was enough to feed the three of us, and have left overs to travel with for a few days.

Preparing the food was something I was used to doing- though with more modern utensils. Still, with Xadus' help, we had a meal cooking over the fire, and were able to feast. It was quite the rewarding feeling, I would admit. And inwardly, I took Xadus' joke to heart. Part of me truly hoped Xadus was satisfied with my cooking...

Judging by how eagerly Xadus ate, I felt it was safe to say it couldn't have tasted _that_ bad. Even if we were both a bit starved from yesterday.

After we'd finished eating, our fire was killed and we'd disassembled our little hut, we took off hiking once more. Judging by the sun star- I did my best to navigate according to what I remembered and prayed to the Gods the direction was correct. Heavens forbid we run into yet _another_ large problem.

Though I greatly missed the speed of our motorbike, there were some perks to walking the journey instead of riding the speeder, and that was that we got to enjoy a lot more of the exotic scenery. Some of the trees were amazing to behold and the brush was full of all sorts of interesting wildlife.

The best part about walking on foot though, was we got to talk.

We got to talk about all sorts of things. Things mainly from our past, but sometimes I ventured to ask him about his personal preferances. What kind of foods he liked, if he went to the bar often with the others, what kind of hunting weapon he enjoyed using most... and lastly... if he liked swimming.

At the swimming bit Xadus looked sideways at me with an odd expression. "Swimming...? Why swimming of all things?"

I grinned and pushed away some plants and beckoned Xadus over to me. When he looked past the parted bushes, he saw that we stood on a tiny ledge, and below was a nice set of large hotsprings.

"Because I feel like a dip, and plus, we both stink," I smirked.

"Pffft," Xadus snorted, shooting me a grin. "What would you expect after traveling for three days, and getting attacked by a rancor?"

"To _smell_ like a rancor- or worse," I grinned back. Xadus shook his head in amusement.

"Yes," he said, finally answering my question. "I enjoy swimming."

"Good. Then, come on," I beckoned, now maneuvering past the plants and down the slope. I slid my way down with relative ease and once I touched the bottom I paced around the cracked ground, checking for the temperature of the floor first before venturing up to the side of a large hot spring.

Tentatively I grabbed a twig and dipped it in.

After pulling the twig out I tested its heat with my fingers and smiled. It wasn't simmering hot. In fact, it was probably perfect temperature. I checked the others as well, seeing if there were any we should avoid, but they each seemed around the same heat and once I was satisfied I flung the twig away and bent to take off my shoes.

Next to test the waters were my toes.

Xadus waited, while Vas crept towards the warm water, and slowly slid in at the shore's edge, sitting down in a couple of inches of water.

I grinned, feeling delighted at the temperature. "Gosh it's _perfect_," I declared at last. Withdrawing my foot, I stood up again only so that I could reach up and carefully discard my stinky, sweat covered shirt wrapings.

"Great," Xadus responded, now sitting down to remove his boots.

Next went my leg wrappings, and only when I was mostly undressed did I venture in with both feet. The water was instantly soothing and welcomed me with soft bubbles and a warmth that saturated into my very bone.

Xadus removed his shirt and pants, leaving only his undergarment, and slid into the water shortly after me. I was grateful he got in fast because seeing him mostly unclothed was far more unsettling than I had anticipated. Of course I knew that he was a very large, and well conditioned individual, so why did seeing him like this have such a strange effect on me? My gut was now in knots and I quickly sunk all the way in, umable to feel any ground beneath my feet.

Silently, I wondered just how far down the spring really went, but it didn't matter. The water felt amazing, even if I was now thoroughly distracted by the fact that we were both stripped down to the bare minimum and swimming in the same pool.

Still, I couldn't help but smile over at him, despite my own mortification.

"Feels good right?"


	20. Chapter 20

_Hello readers, and followers,_

_I am finally back into the writing game. For a full year I have pretty much abandoned my fanfiction pastime, and you were left to wait, indefinitely, until my muse reawakened. Well, today is the day. Stories will be born from these fingertips, and flow freely! Holliday season is indeed here, but I am prepared! I've got time on my hands and I know how it will be spent! So enjoy the fruits of my long awaited labors. In the words of Ricci Ricardo: "Lucy I'm home!"_

* * *

**Search For The Father**

* * *

Chapter 20

...

I swallowed, trying my best not to stare. Souza was a beaitful female, but I doubted she would like being ogled. I got the feeling it would be considered rude of me to treat her that way. Still, I wasn't used to this type of distraction, and she was my mate after all. Wasn't I supposed to appreciate her fine qualities? No, better not to risk it.

"It feels quite nice," I replied, as I slipped into the water to about my clavicle. The heat from the hot spring began to sink into every one of my muscles. It was incredibly pleasant, but I made a point to remain only where my feet could touch the spring floor. I wasn't a very strong swimmer, though I would never admit that to Souza. If anything, I could manage not to drown, but it wasn't pretty. Vas could swim circles around me...

"Yeah it does," Souza agreed with a happy sigh, swirling her arms playfully about in the water. "I haven't swam in a hot spring since I was...well... sixteen," she admitted, her tone sounding a bit dreamy.

"Really?" I questioned, hoping that she might elaborate further. Of course, I hadn't been in a hot spring much, myself. But it didn't stop be from being curious about Souza's own experiences.

"Yeah, I don't usually come out very far into the forests with my sisters. Not unless we have an actual mission to accomplish. Special herbs to collect for our magiks or other strange things," she shrugged.

I made a small note of the way she'd phrased it as 'strange things', but didn't comment.

"I'd say that's about the same for me, except, for me it was exceptionally long hunting trips. There was a winter several years back that was especially cold, and we had to travel far for meat."

She swam a bit closer as I related my short story.

"Did you enjoy hunting?" She inquired, "Or ... I mean _do_ you enjoy hunting?" She corrected herself.

I nodded.

"It's certainly my favorite thing to do. As I've mentioned, I'm not particularly good at farming, and while training can be fun, I usually prefer to be on my own with Vas, or with a small, select group of hunters," I admitted.

"Ahh, a loner then," she smirked. "I can understand that. I don't really like hanging out with my sisters longer than I have to. As it is I only really have one friend and we fight... a lot. And I don't mean sparring- I mean like... well. Maybe you'll see," she snorted, rolling her eyes.

I wondered if, despite their conflict, if Souza's friend would be similar to her. If she would... be at least somewhat genial-if not friendly-towards me. I decided not to get my hopes up.

"If I may... why do _you_ not like hanging out with your other sisters?" I pressed carefully.

"Because- most of them are older than me and boss me around all the time. And I mean ALL the time," she groaned, "And those who are my actual age are way into the spells and the sorcery and I- "

She stopped abruptly, causing me to frown slightly, wishing she would finish her thought.

Then, carefully, she continued.

"Well- I don't enjoy those things. I'm not... I'm not skilled with magiks. I prefer less- complicated things... I guess," she murmured.

A thought suddenly struck me, and before I knew it, the thought was rushing from my mouth.

"That's why you have a hard time connecting with your spiritual side," I blurted in realization. It was impossible to tell, since my cheeks were already flushed from the heat of the spring, but I was embarrassed to have blurted the first thing that came to mind. Usually, I was much more guarded. Hastily, I tried to continue, so she might forget about the randomness of it.

"But you have the ability to make that connection. Perhaps that can translate to your magiks."

She stared at me, and for a panicked moment, I wondered if she'd taken offense to what I'd said. But then, she shrugged, her expression lightening up.

"Um.. yeah... maybe," she responded uncertainly, looking down into the water as she kicked her legs about.

I, too, shifted in the water a little, feeling the soothing tingle along every inch of skin as I moved. It was incredibly enjoyable, and I leaned back in the water a bit, the level coming up to my chin.

Souza swam out away from the edge of the hot spring, stretching her legs a bit. I prayed to the spirits she didn't ask me to swim out with her. When it seemed she was perfectly happy swimming by herself, I relaxed. It was fun to watch Souza enjoy herself. She glided around the mirky water, swimming to the other end of the spring when, suddenly, she pulled herself up out of the side and darted to the other hot spring, leaping and jumping in exuberantly to the other pool.

I had to laugh. I was reminded of how she'd climbed the trees as we made our way through the forest. I loved how full of life she was, and how free she was around me...

I couldn't imagine she was this free with others and it made me feel... privileged. If we were truly going to be mates... and this was the first I had thought of it like _that_... then I was glad we would be close, even if Mother Talizin would likely only permit me to be around until we had conceived a child and it was confirmed to be a girl.

This thought sobered me, making me realize just how precious our every moment together truly was.

So I gazed after her, smiling at the way she entertained herself, jumping between hot springs and splashing. Finally, she returned to me, and sat down on the dry, crusty ground beside the hot spring, and sprawled out. Her lungs were heaving from the exercise. I grinned, removing myself from the spring as well to sit beside her.

Vas trotted up to join us, and Souza reached a hand out to pet the beast.

We remained in comfortable silence, soaking in the moment.

"I don't want to go back," Souza murmured quietly.

I was surprised by the admonition, though I knew I probably shouldn't be. It made sense. "I know what you mean..." I answered.

She hummed thoughtfully, and opening her eyes, she looked over at me with tenderness in her eyes. It made my stomach flutter.

"I haven't felt this... _free_ around anybody... ever," she whispered to me. I chuckled warmly.

"Agreed. Well-for me except for when I'm around my father," I corrected myself.

"There were times when my mother would let me be... _me_... but as I got older... she got more serious with me," she shared.

My shoulders slumped slightly and I turned to look at Souza sadly. "I'm sorry..."

She shrugged lightly. "It's not _your_ fault," she responded softly.

"No, but at least I can sympathize," I pointed out.

"Well, I certainly don't mind the sympathizing..." She smiled in return. WIth another deep breath, she turned her head back up towards the sky and closed her eyes, soaking in the sun.

Only the light chirping of the native birds and the sounds of the gently lapping hot springs filled our ears.

After some time passed, I decided to get up and dry off, re-donning my shirt. Souza followed suit, putting her clothes back on, and Vas got up, tail wagging, anticipating our moving on.

"Ready then?" Souza asked.

"As ready as ever," I responded, managing to keep my tone mild. I had no idea just how much longer we had till we got to the Nightsister temples, and I wasn't looking forward to it at all. The thought made me... disheartened.

Still, I was attempting to remain calm.

Then, out of the blue, Souza stepped up and took hold of my hand. I tried not to appear as taken aback as I felt by the sweet contact.

"Look, I don't know exactly _what_ it's going to be like once we arrive... but... when we do... I'll have your back," she promised, looking as earnestly at me as anyone I ever saw.

This time, I could not keep from altering my shocked expression, nor did I want to. "Thanks, Souza..." I murmured. "That... means more to me than you know..."

It truly did.

...

When we struck out on our journey again, I took the lead-since I knew where we were going. Xadus fell into step beside me, with Vas trotting along happily at our heels. It was another long day of travel, but when night came, I was determined to do my part and help wit the campsite.

In fact, I insisted that he teach me how to properly construct a tiny hut, and observed how it was he liked to have his meat cooked, once Xadus returned with a fresh kill.

When we went to lay down in the hut to sleep, I didn't even give Vas a chance to slide between us when we laid down.

I wasn't nervous being close to Xadus anymore, and inwardly, I felt safest when he was near. I fell asleep quickly that night, more comfortable and content then I'd felt in a long time.

When I awoke the next morning with the sensation of an arm over my waste and felt the slow breathing of a chest against my back, I smiled. I wasn't quite sure at what point we'd gotten so close in the night, but I knew that if anything, Xadus probably had forgotten that I wasn't Vas.

I guiltily stayed still and didn't move for a while, admitting freely to myself that I liked the arrangement and tried to stuff the ridiculous amount of shivers that went through my body. I had to focus just to breathe- so nervous that the moment would end.

Luckily, Xadus woke slowly. The moment his breathing quickened subtly, I knew he was awake and I smiled, even as I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. After several long minutes of silently basking in the warmth and closeness- he slowly moved back, lifting his arm and shifting some.

I dared then to stir and turned to look at him groggily, feigning that I'd only just woken up.

"Morning," I mumbled, my voice sounding a bit too scratchy.

Gently, he placed the hand he'd moved from around my waist to rest briefly on my shoulder. "Good morning."

My heart lurched pleasantly at the feel of his touch and my skin tingled where his hand rested.

"Sleep well?" I asked.

"I did. And you?" He asked in turn.

"Very well," I replied assuredly, already missing the feel of his warm body wrapped gently around me.

But alas, we had another day of traveling to begin.

Luckily, we had saved some of the fruits from last night to eat as breakfast, so after we'd both sat up, we were able to leave our little camp in no time and continue our walk.

The forests steadily became more eerie- less bright and pleasant, and more dark and gloomy.

I knew by the condition of the nature around us that were were nearing the Nightsisters territories. Of course, there were many Nightsister clans that lived on this planet, but once we stumbled across one- I would once again have my full bearings and we could press on with a direct course.

As we walked I occasionally pet Vas, making sure the female creature was keeping up well and not trailing off into the distance. Though every once and a while, she would scoot off to hunt something and Xadus and I would have to wait for her to return.

As Vas once again paraded off into the bushes after some prey, I paused to check my rancor scratches. They still looked quite ugly and red, but at least the skin had healed over. Xadus noticed when I began my examinations.

"How are they?" He asked attentively.

"Healing slowly," I responded, turning to better show him. "They itch though. I didn't want to say anything, but I think they're infected. Nothing serious- " I assured. "Once we get back to the temple, I'm sure our healing herbs there will heal whatever is going on."

Xadus observed my injuries closer. "No infection. They aren't really puffy or oozing. The iching is likely just the skin regenerating, but something like a healing herb would likely speed up the process," he reported.

"I'm looking forward to that," I replied.

Xadus shrugged, turning to call Vas back over to us so we could continue on our journey.

She camp trotting through the underbrush, toting the limp form of some small avian she had caught, clearly ridiculously proud. I couldn't help but grin at the ridiculous pride of the reptile creature, but walked alongside Xadus to continue our hiking none the less.

The terrain varied much as we went on, but when the jungle floor finally smoothed out to drier, less rocky ground, I knew the temples were close. Tension rolled off of me in heat waves, my obvious discomfort at the idea of returning to the dark, orderly confines more evident to Xadus than I probably wanted. I tried to exude calm confidence and familiarity with the lands, but instead I just felt begrudgingly towards them.

We crossed a small creek and when we emerged into a clearing, the sight of a rock temple, tall, imposing and cold towered against the mountain to which it was built within. I swallowed and instinctively ducked. This wasn't my clan temple, and likely I wouldn't be very welcomed here without an invitation. Still, I knew that this was the SunGods summit and that our clan was several miles to the north from here.

"This way," I said, motioning Xadus after me quietly back towards the covered forest where we could continue to travel, hopefully without detection while we skirted this particular clan's territory.

Xadus rapidly followed me back into the forest. I picked up my pace, perhaps a bit too eager to get away from that particular temple and the sisters who might be lurking the woods there.

For all I knew, they could have been watching us right now and I didn't know it. My spiritual side was extremely weak as it was. There was no way I would be able to sense them.

But- maybe Xadus would?

"Do you sense anything?" I asked him curiously, my tone quiet as if I feared being overheard.

He frowned briefly while he considered my question, undoubtably stretching out with his senses. Had I not been so hellbent on leaving the area I might have stopped walking to give Xadus a moment to properly meditate and get a better reading of our surroundings, but I wanted to keep moving.

Att last he let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "I can't reach out very far, but I don't sense anything really close," he informed.

"That's a relief," I responded, glad that at least with what little he had to work with, he did not sense any immediate danger.

We continued walking at a brisk pace, heading north, and I knew the uncertainty between the both of us was building. I felt the muscles in my shoulders and neck coiling tighter and tighter. I could feel the tension as thickly as if someone had placed a heavy blanket upon my shoulders, but still I kept walking.

When I finally paused, it was to let my feet rest. They were hurting and needed a short break, so I found a dry section of forest and sat down, wondering if meditation would help ease my spirits.

I fell into a meditation stance, closing my eyes and droning out the world from about me.

A moment later, I heard Xadus sit down, too.

While I attempted mediation, my thoughts drifted to my mother's vision she'd had before I left. The vision that I would find happiness, and finally find adventure and contentment with life...

That I would find great love too... Had I?

When I finally broke my mediation stance, I glanced over to Xadus who was still in meditation, and I scooted closer to him.

Sensing my movement, Xadus slowly opened one eye to meet my gaze and arched a brow, a playful smile on his lips.

I blushed and leaned away again, my heart thumping wildly at that charming grin of his. He chuckled warmly, clearly finding me amusing.

I giggled faintly back with him, feeling silly but no less comfortable with him.

"You know, I like it... when you are more free with me, like you are now," Xadus stated. I smiled, looking down. I liked it a lot too...


End file.
